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[PS4 Game Review] No Man's Sky

August 10, 2016, 9:17 am
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Hello guys!

A lot of things have happened over the National Day weekend, but I thought I'd just talk about the incredibly cool stuff first. You see, I got a media preview of the newly released PS4 game "No Man's Sky" yesterday, and I thought it would be good for me to show off that I got it before everyone else did.

Yeah sometimes I have no shame.


And here's what I think (so far).
Don't laugh ok. I used some online software to make it in my enthusiasm to share it with you. Do you know how long it takes to erase backgrounds? Very long.

So let me tell you about No Man Sky. It's very educational, and I've learnt a lot from it so far. For example, No Man's Sky prides itself on being "a science-fiction game set in an infinite procedurally generated galaxy".
And this seems very intimidating, like you have to be a physicist with multiple doctorates to understand. But it's okay! It means that the game universe is not fixed, and is built on what players discover and upload along the way.
In order to have lots of things for players to discover, the game has 18 quintillion planets available. Quintillion. That means that there are 18 zeros with that. Did you know that?
(Via Giphy).

So the game is all about exploring and information sharing. It's quite exciting because you can travel to different systems and planets and gather information about each one. Information that you gather can be uploaded to the Atlas and made available to other players in exchange for units (NMS' in-game currency). And with 18 quintillion planets, you are most likely the first one to discover a system, planet, plant, or animal. Being the first is always good.
(Via Reddit).

AND. Because you are the first to discover this entity, YOU CAN NAME IT. Like look at this creature I discovered. I named it "Bouncy Castle". Because it bounces.
James said I was very creative. I think so too. I also have my own system called "Jac's System". I've already planned all my system names. The game will house Jac's Nervous System, Jac's Digestive System, Jac's Muscular System, etc. That's right, I'm pouring my whole physical existence into the game.
(Via Meme Generator).

You also need to go around and learn different words along the way, build your way up to learning a complete language, and then later, more languages. You also earn awards along the way, which makes the experience all the more rewarding.
You also get awards in recognition of the distance that you've travelled.
Yeah that's mainly for your own personal vanity. But going back to my original point on No Man's Sky being a educational game, Remember those maths problem sums that we used to get in school? The ones including complicated number patterns which came at the back of papers? 
(Via Genuine Singapore Maths).

WELL. Good news. Your world class maths education system can finally come into play. There are these places known as "Observatory Terminals" which reveal places of interest which can be uploaded to the Atlas. But you first have to unlock the terminals by entering the final digits of a number sequence.
Simple enough. Oh but if you're the kind who likes more violence in games, don't worry. You can still shoot and destroy drones along the way. 
You're also supposed to be able to have "Epic Space Battles", but I haven't reached that point yet.
And for those of you who have been very passionate about catching Pokemon, well, you can satisfy your collectors' obsession by collecting elements which can be stored in slots in your exosuit and spaceship. Later on you can use these elements to like, craft Carite Sheets from Heridium and Zinc. 
So far, I've crafted lot so Carite Sheets to fix my spaceship. But I crafted microdensity fabric and bypass chips. Speaking of chips, I feel like eating Pringles.
(Via Imgur).

So that's pretty much how the game works. One minor point of contention I have about it though, mainly I concede, due to my selective OCD and control queen persona, is that I want everything to be MINE. I want to collect EVERYTHING. I want to name everything MY WAY. I want to be the first to reach EVERYWHERE, But I can't. Because it's an open system. Life is hard for the selfish soul sometimes.
(Via Giphy).

Another problem that I have with this is that I want to mine everything and keep everything that I mined but my exosuit runs out of slots very quickly so I can't collect everything I want all at once. It's like my wardrobe dilemma all over again.
But apart from those two points, good game! And also I would leave you with some music video playing the soundtrack of No Man's Sky, but the trippy music playing in the background comes under the genre of "math rock". 
Math rock is a rhythmically complex, often guitar-based, style of rock music that emerged in the late 1980s, influenced by progressive rock bands like King Crimson and 20th century minimalist composers such as Steve Reich. It is characterized by complex, atypical rhythmic structures (including irregular stopping and starting), counterpoint, odd time signatures, angular melodies, and extended, often dissonant, chords.
Yeah and this means that the band, 65daysofstatic, who wrote the soundtrack is too indie to put up a mainstream video. But you can listen to them here if you really want to. Anyway, here's a mainstream music video from the pop music genre.



Ok, updates on my life next post!
❤ Jac.
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Jac's Relationship Advice: Based on Failed Past Relationships.

August 18, 2016, 8:46 pm
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Hello guys!

Okay so if you guys still remember, just not too long ago, I used to be a single grumpy bitter bitch with nothing much going on in life apart from Coke Light and alcohol.
And then James came along and now I'm a grumpy bitter bitch with Coke Light, alcohol, and a companion. Which is pretty good I must say. For one thing there's now someone aside from yourself who is funding your drinking habits.
But as it turns out, when you announce that you have someone in your life after being a reclusive self-deprecating bitch for quite some time, people tend to ask you for relationship tips, secrets to love, pointers on finding THE ONE, and what have you. Right. My answers to your questions might make you want to throw yourself off a cliff.
(Via Giphy).

Because you know, I'm new to this relationship thing. Why, judging by historical data and past experience, I'm far more competent at dishing out advice on how to fail at relationships than how to settle down. But you know, I aim to please. So here's some relationship advice based on my previous failed attempts at relationships.

#1 Wear whatever you want to wear.

It's okay if your boyfriend gives you input on your outfits. Like "This yellow dress makes you look like a school bus", or "The hole in this dress is as big as China, but in a bad way", might not be the nicest, nor best of things to say to you, but at least they are somewhat constructive pieces of criticism.
(Via Giphy).

But what is not okay, is when he tries to dictate your outfits and tells you what to wear. I once dated this asshole who used to tell me to wear heels ALL THE FUCKING TIME. And I'm quite happy to wear heels. Have you seen my heels? My heels are higher than your heels, go high or go home, my killer heels killed yours for breakfast, etc.
But I do not like being told what to do, nor do I like acceding to stupid and unreasonable requests. Here are some of the instances where he told me to wear heels:
  • Going to his house to watch TV 
  • Going to the coffee shop to eat 
  • Going to EXPO to walk around some car exhibition
(Via Imgur).

Ridiculous. He even bought me a pair of fucking uncomfortable heels and I decided to wear them once when I met him for lunch because I never wore them ever and I decided to give him face that one time. He made me walk from Raffles Place to Telok Ayer and back because the Teh Peng in Raffles Place wasn't good enough. Fucker. I ended up falling down an entire flight of stairs in Raffles Place MRT .
(Via Vulture).

Yes yes, we all make mistakes. Mine was not taking off my heel and stabbing him in the eye.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Anyway, there was once we were going to his grandfather's funeral. And when he saw what I was wearing he went "Can you wear something nicer, and heels? Everyone will be looking at you."
(Via Imgur).

I never wore heels again. 
(Via eonline).

And then we broke up and now I wear heels quite happily. The moral of the story is, if the guy feels this compulsive need to change your dressing to suit his image, he's not worth it, break up, move on. 
(Via Giphy).

#2 Don't pretend just to please his family.

Or not immediately anyway. A relationship predicated on lies worse than dying alone and then having your face eaten by cats.
(Via Imgur).

I mean it's okay to tell tiny white lies like "Why your cooking is the most delicious I've ever tasted!", or "No your cake doesn't taste like a pile of bricks!" But when his family believes that you subscribe to certain beliefs, then that's a different thing.
(Via Giphy).

So there was this other boy I dated whose family was Christian. Which is okay. No issue with that. He wanted to introduce me to his family. Which is also okay. But what is not okay is that he said "You have to pretend to be Christian or my parents won't like you. If they ask you to pray just thank God for the food and for bringing us together."
(Via Giphy).

That didn't last long. Well, longer than I would like to admit anyway.

#3 Don't put up with guys who can't manage their own finances.

Or girls for that matter. So, I like spending money as much as (or probably more than) the next person. But that's okay. I spend my own money and also within my means. You want to buy that Rolex watch? Fine! Buy it. But pay for it by yourself and resort to living in poverty for the next 5 years.
(Via Giphy).

You know what I don't respect? People who take money from their parents even though they don't need it. Eh. Your parents already paid for your toys, clothes, education, and most of your life expenses. If you are earning money, you fucking better use your money on yourself instead of continuing to rely on your parents to pay for your stuff.
(Via someecards)

So this guy I dated, used to ask his parents for money to pay for his dinner, his lunch, everything! And it's not like he was broke, he had a side income and was doing quite well! And what was worse was that he had an older brother who worked in a bank WHO DID EXACTLY THE SAME THING. Like, WHY?!!!
(Via Giphy).

If a guy does this, dump him. You need to find someone who can fund your dates BY HIMSELF. You don't need his mother paying for your romantic dinners and what have you. You don't need someone else's parents funding your sexy time.
(Via Giphy).

And when you go dutch, you need to know that you're both paying for your half of the meal, not you paying for your half and his mommy paying for him. What sort of people do such things?! Disgraceful. 
(Via Giphy).

Sorry, Asian with strong Confucian values.好公民 taught me well.
(Via Giphy).

The other kind of people whom I can't stand with regards to money, are the idiots who get credit cards and immediately get themselves into debt. EH cannot manage one credit card you think you can manage a relationship?
(Via Gifsec).

Cannot lor. And I'd know. I've dated both those kinds of guys. It was hell.
(Via Giphy).

(Also please note that I'm saying that you shouldn't date guys who don't spend within their means. I'm not telling you to only date rich guys okay).

#4 You need to be equally sociable or anti-social.

So your relationship won't work if you are an anti-social recluse and he is an outgoing people slut. You can't have some super-enthusiastic person wanting to go out and meeting people all the time when your idea of a fun night out is like, going someone and not talking to anyone else.
(Via someecards).

So I once dated this guy who liked to go out and make new friends with everyone. And I like to, go out, and drink my alcohol. Time wasted talking to other people is time that could have been better dedicated to pouring alcohol down my throat.
(Via Metro).

Seriously, I've already spent the whole day at work talking to people I don't know very well. Why do I need to do the same in a bar?! I'm quite happy keeping to myself.
(Via Giphy).

Another guy I dated felt that he had no friends and kept inviting MY FRIENDS over to his house. Sometimes without me. Because I would tell him that I'm tired and then head off to bed and he would call up my friends (some of them Facebook friends) and invite them to his house.
(Via Giphy).

Yeah, I know right?! He was a fucker. Firstly, boundaries. And secondly, if you need some kind of regular social affirmation in your life, then you should find your own friends, and not keep hounding your girlfriend's friends to meet you to the point that they create WhatsApp groups to bitch about you. And also it's perhaps important to find someone who is as needy as you and not subject your anti-social significant other to unwanted torment in the form of socialising.
(Via Imgur).

And it works both ways I guess. If you are anti-social you need to find someone as anti-social as you so that you aren't that bitch who's constantly raining on parades.

#5 Stupidity isn't overrated.

So maybe this person is nice to you, always there for you, and not bad looking and you're like, "Hey, we should get together". 
(Via Giphy).

NO. THESE ARE NOT GROUNDS FOR YOU TO GET TOGETHER. Because it's always easy to buy people chocolate on a regular basis, to provide sympathetic replies to your angsty texts, and meet you on Friday nights and agree with everything you say. But as you spend more time with the person, you want to know that they can talk about other things apart from parroting your thoughts.
(Via Giphy).

Because you want someone who's on the same wavelength as you, not someone who has nothing going on up there and latches on to you. The worst kind of stupid people, are the people who fancy themselves to be really smart and insightful.
(Via Awesomely Techie).

So there was this guy I dated, OH MY GOD, he was a pain. A stupid, insufferable pain. He used to fail different modules in school, not know the answers to anything, but oh my god, did he try to make up for it by being a Smart Alec.
(Via WiffleGif).

So we were on holiday and happened to get talking to this couple who was on a wine tour with us. And he decided to tell them about Singapore. He told them that buildings are built really quickly in Singapore, and that you could drive past somewhere in the morning and it would be empty land, and  and see a ten story building constructed on your evening commute back.
(Via Giphy).

Okay, but we will give him the benefit of the doubt. He may have been obviously exaggerating and I may have no sense of wit. But then he went on to tell the Singapore story and said,"In the olden days, before it was founded, Singapore used to be a Muslim state."
(Via Giphy).

NO IT WASN'T. So I interjected, "No it was never a Muslim state, Singapore had a lot of indigenous Malays on it, but it was never a Muslim state." And he said, "Same same."
(Via Bustle).

NO IT'S FUCKING NOT THE SAME. You don't pretend to be knowledgeable when you are clearly dumber than a bag of rocks. So learning from my mistakes, make sure you date someone with brains please. Stupid people are the worst. I know that person may appear to be on the same wavelength as you, but you know, check. Make sure that he has his own sensible opinions and is not just latching off yours.
(Via Buzzfeed).

So yes. The lessons you can learn from my dating life is that, there's a fine line between being nice and acceding to stupid requests. Yes, you will agree to do things that ultimately make you want to slit your wrists (like doing some idiot's homework - not okay), but we all make mistakes. Suck it up and move on.
(Via Giphy).

If you keep rejecting all the wrong guys, constantly refuse to do things that you don't want to do, and just keep telling people what you don't like upfront, one day you might just find someone who likes you for that grumpy bitter bitch that you are.
You won't have to change anything about yourself, and life will be good.
(Photo by Smith).

And here you go, good song to end off.



TGIF guys!
❤ Jac.

(And also sorry, updates on my life in the next post).
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Jac's Two Cents: Some Overrated Things.

August 28, 2016, 8:14 am
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Hello!

So you might know that I have a low opinion of many things - slow internet, stupid people, convenience stores which don't stock Coke Light, you know, the usual.
(Photo by Smith).


Which is fine. Everyone has their pet peeves. But you know what I have realised? Many people tend to praise lots of things which I find are really just, meh. So here you go, some things that I find extremely overrated.

#1 Live bands in restaurants.

So I get it. Everyone love music in one form or another. I don't judge you for your taste in music. At all. Why, have you heard the kind of music I listen to? It's so trashy that I worry that the trash collector might come around whenever I'm blasting my playlist.
(Via Giphy).

And live music is great. Oh the things I would do to see artists live. I once went to a Pitbull concert with my Twitter friend. Yeah. You heard me right. A friend I only talked to on Twitter. As in, I knew he went to the same school as me, but really we only talked on Twitter.
(Yeah I don't even have a photo with him because we were too busy jumping up and down to Pitbull).

There was also this time when I was at the front of the queue to watch Lady Gaga' live in concert at Fort Canning. Nessie and I were the first people in the queue which we started at 3 pm. I had nothing but Lays potato chips and Bacardi Breezers in the hot sun. We got to the front of the stage. And then I fainted and security had to carry me out over the barricade. And then I had to squeeze through 15,000 to get to the front of the stage again. AND I MADE IT.
But what I don't get, is why people frequent restaurants with live bands. I mean, if you're alone, fine. But when you're with other friends? Do you not want to have a conversation with them? To actually hear what they are saying?
(Via Popsugar).

Because if that's the case then I have this great place to recommend where it's socially acceptable to disregard any conversation. It's called a club. Go loud or go home, I always say.
(Via Giphy).

Besides, live bands aren't usually that great anyway. They go off key, and sometimes they go too far in "making it their own". So it ends up becoming an overdone number with more musical slurring than actual singing. Which is, of course, passed off as artistic.
(Via The Poke).

And this horrible caterwauling echoes off the walls and never seems to stop. Ugh. Live bands in restaurants - overrated.

#2 Public proposals.

So you know what I don't understand? People who want to get proposed to with lots of people around them.
(Via Giphy).

I know, I know, you want to have all the people who are special around you when the love of your life pops the question. Or you want it to be some grand surprise. BUT WITH A BUNCH OF STRANGERS AROUND?
(Via mic).

I mean flash mobs and grand displays of love are all well and good, BUT! What if she wants to say no?! Then what happens?
(Via Viral Swarm).

And that's a good scenario. In a bad scenario, the guy might end up getting slapped!
(Via Giphy).

OR WORSE. She might just say yes because you know, it's the less awkward way out. I thought about it okay. If one of my ex-es had asked me to marry him in front of a bunch of people, I would have said yes to avoid the awkwardness, and then broken up with him in private.
(Via Buzzfeed).

And I don't know why everyone thinks that public proposals is what everyone wants. You see this Olympic pair who got engaged at the Olympics? I don't even know their names, I didn't watch their dives. I just know them as, the people who got engaged at the Olympics. Not sad meh?
(Via Crienglish).

And he stole her Olympic medal moment which she worked so hard for, AND put her on the spot in front of billions of people. AND LOOK SHE IS CRYING. I would hate for someone to see me cry in public. Like Kim Kardashian, I have an ugly crying face.
(Via Giphy).

But that's just my opinion.  But take a look at Dennis Hong's 2013 rant on the pornification of marriage proposals:
Similarly, do you know what happens when you take a proposal and make it public? You get engagement porn – stuff that people who aren’t happy with their own relationships drool over, and stuff that people in fulfilling relationships smirk at, because they know how unrealistic it is. 
Yes, I can say this now because James has proposed! And so whatever I type won't be perceived as me hinting for a proposal.
(Yeah that's right. Someone wants to be with me for the rest of his life.)

So yes anyway, back to my original point, public proposals are over-rated. Keep your proposals to yourself and stop encouraging voyeurism.

#3 Birthday surprises.

Ok, let me qualify. Most birthday surprises are quite nice. But the one I can't stand is when everyone pretends to forget your birthday, don't wish you happy birthday, and there's a big party at the end.
(Via Giphy).

I'm not saying that it has ever happened to me (it hasn't). But I would imagine that that's one of the worse ways to spend your birthday because you would spend the majority of your birthday feeling upset and angry over your stupid friends.
(Via Imgur).

WHY WOULD I WANT TO FEEL UPSET ON MY BIRTHDAY AT ALL?! This is baffling. And sure, there may be a surprise party at the very end, but what if I'm too grumpy with disappointment over friends are too busy to even acknowledge that daily Facebook notification reminding you to wish your good friend a happy birthday.
(Via Giphy).

So anyway, pretending to forget birthdays and then turning up with a big party at the end? Overrated.
(Via Giphy).

#4 Free speech.

Yeah yeah yeah. Free speech is good, we all want free speech and oh my goodness what is this Singapore restricting our freedom of expression. WELL. Let me show you what happens when you have free speech.
(Via The Odyssey Online).
(Via Giphy).
(Via Giphy).

You get people who say whatever they like, without regard of whether its racially and religiously offensive or not. So while you may think that free speech is wonderful, you may want to think about what is it that you want to say that isn't allowed in Singapore. Is it that you hate people of a certain race or religion? Is it libelous? Is it untrue? Because if so then, well, you might want to do a bit of self-reflection.
(Via Giphy).

Free speech, totally overrated.

#5 Hello Kitty.

Okay, I know many people like Hello Kitty, but. Here's what I think. Any thing that I can draw up to an 80% likeness cannot be worth that much.
So I don't understand the appeal of Hello Kitty. I guess many people say that Hello Kitty is cute. COME ON, look at my drawing. Tell me which part of it is cute.
And even if you replace my drawing with an actual drawing with an actual image of Hello Kitty, it really doesn't make much of a difference. It's like the people who drew her couldn't be bothered to make her look more feline. Like you know, how Disney did with the Aristocats or how Jim Davis did with Garfield.
(Via Mental Floss).
(Via Fit For Life).

But I guess having Hello Kitty look not so feline would make sense. It would explain a lot really. Like why Sanrio said that Hello Kitty is not a cat.
(Via DogoNews).

Yeah so, Hello Kitty. Lots of hype for something that really easily replicated.  Don't understand. I think it's overrated.
(Via Giphy).

But what's not overrated is Avril Lavigne's song. I know many people don't like it, but COME ON. It's catchy!



OKAY. Have a good week ahead guys!
❤ Jac.
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Sorry, I'm busy!

September 5, 2016, 12:52 am
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Hey guys!

Sorry I haven't been able to update properly, but I'm busy doing some adult stuff in my not-boyfriend's homeland.

Like making use of the weak pound to stock up on necessities.
Yes. Junk food and alcohol are necessities.

Looking at property to buy to fulfil my lifelong dream of becoming a property magnate/princess.
Communing with flora and fauna which I understand is what princesses like Snow White and Ella Enchanted specialise in.
Okay anyway I got to go because we're off to walk the dog now. Because I do that now.
Cheers!
❤ Jac.



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James' Jibber-Jabber: I Spy.

September 12, 2016, 2:39 pm
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Hi guys!

So James and I are currently in sunny Rome and it's FANTASTIC. I love Rome. Everything is so old and interesting! Just like James.
Me and my pleased self standing atop Pons Fabricius, aka the oldest Roman bridge in Rome still existing in its original state. Also, built in 62 BC, which shows that ancient Romans made things that last longer than the modern day Chinese who made my Forever 21 dress which spawned a hole after one wear.

Well, but before I go on about what we did for the past 24 hours in Rome, I thought I'd do a quick filler post. One, because I'm a bit lazy, and two because the slow internet gives me an excuse to avoid a photo-heavy post. So here we go! A new addition to a series I like to call...
So for the past week James has been bringing me around the UK and France to meet all his family and friends. Because I'm now an important part of his life and everyone now needs to know who to call if James gets into trouble.
#pretty.

And the UK and France are huge countries. So that means that James has been doing a lot of driving. Because my limited driving speed works for tootling around Ubi and not for like, inter-state driving it seems.
And you know, spending 24 hours collectively in the car (2,800 km) can result in you making groundbreaking realisations and epiphanies. Like the one we had here.
James, "I spy with my little eye, something that begins with W."
Me, "Wheel. White car. Wire."
James, "Okay I can't see it anymore I'll have to tell you. Windmill."
Me, "Okay, my turn. I spy with my little eye something that begins with B."
James, "BMW. Bush. Blue car."
Me, "Okay I can't see it anymore I'll have to tell you. Bridge."
James, "I Spy is a shit game isn't it?"
Yeah. Yes it is. Okay, it's midnight and the laptop's down to 2%. Have a good rest of the week guys! Meanwhile please enjoy this good song.


Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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Rome in a Whirlwind.

September 20, 2016, 10:07 am
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Hello guys!

So here we are in Rome! I am DAMN EXCITED. I love Rome. I had never been previously and James felt thought that I might need a holiday after being dragged around the UK and France to meet all his friends and relatives at one go. I didn't need one, but you know, if you offer me a holiday, I'm not going to say no.
No, instead I will grin and bear my artificially whitened teeth at you.

Edit: Here we are now in Singapore, as Rome is known more for it's history than it's internet connectivity.

Anyway! We were in Rome for 5 days and we walked everywhere. And here are some bits and pieces that I'd like to share from our trip. And no, really. We did walk everywhere. I wasn't kidding. Check out our walking route.

#1 I learnt how to count in Roman numerals.

So as you might imagine, Rome is full of old buildings, signs, artifacts, and thingamajigs with Latin inscribed on them. And many of these inscriptions contain some form of Roman numerals which you kind of recognise, but can't really be bothered to figure out. Because, really, the only times people use Latin today is when they need an excuse to sound cultured and snobby.
(Via someecards).

But as it turns out, supercool James used to study Latin in school and sometimes takes it upon himself to furnish you with exciting Latin phrases.
(Via Giphy).

Or, "vir prudens non contra ventum mingit", as James would say.

Anyway, I now know how to count like the Romans because James has made me practice on the many numbers which have been carved into the many buildings.
Fontana dell'Acqua Paola - built in MDCXII aka 1612.

And I am now MMMDCCCLXXVI times better at counting with Roman numerals than the average person. That's 3876 times. And now that I've been educated in the Roman way of counting, I have finally solved one of the mysteries of life. The one where treasure maps ever lead directly to the promised treasure.
(Via Giphy).

My theory is that all the pirates had written "10" in Latin to mark the number of hours they had spent on the map. Or something. I didn't really think this through.
#2 We took a selfie with a man selling selfie sticks.
The Indians in Rome are very enterprising. They walk around major tourist attractions with dozens of selfie sticks strapped to their wrists going "selfiestickselfiestickselfiestickselfiestick". And if you happen to cross paths with them, they stick a selfie stick in your face and insist that you need it. (We don't. We maintain that selfie sticks are a hassle and dangerous in the hands of oblivious idiots.)
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, James and I weren't very amused at the masses of selfie stick peddlers. So we decided to take a selfie with one of them to express our feelings about the matter.
Selfie stick peddler at the Altare della Patria aka Monumento Nazionale a Vittorio Emanuele II. 

These enterprising peddlers are very hardworking. When they are not selling selfie sticks, they are busy roaming around Rome with huge bouquets of roses, shoving a few stems into the faces of every couple they see.
Rose peddler at the Piazza del Popolo.

Even though you might disagree with their pushiness and annoying sales tactics, you got to admire their enterprising spirit. Because when it starts drizzling, these enterprising peddlers whip out their stash of umbrellas and ponchos to sell! Talk about adapting your businesses to suit market demand. Watch out Forbes Top 100, these people are going to knock you off the list!
(Via Giphy).
#3 You have to dress for Rome.
It's true. You've heard about how judgemental the Italians can be when it comes to your outfits. And you better believe it. Why, the lengths that I had to go to to ensure that I was keeping up with the latest fashions.
Yeah. I know. I am the epitome of fashion. The Italians loved it. Sadly, it was waaaay to fashionable for the plain and simple me. So I had to do some last minute outfit adjustments outside a sandwich shop. Outside, because I didn't want anyone to lose their appetite after seeing my sloppy outdated get up.
I know, exciting stuff. But, more about this in another post.
#4 The typewriter building does not sell typewriters.
James kept going on about a typewriter building in Rome. And he said it like I should know what he was going on about. So I did what any logical person would do. Nod knowledgeably in agreement with everything he said and then Googled secretly after.
(Via Giphy).

So it turns out that this is the typewriter building.
Aka the Altare della Patria, National Monument to Victor Emmanuel II, Il Vittoriano, or otherwise known as the monument built in honour of the first king of a unified Italy, located in Rome, Italy. I know the building, I just thought it was called, "that Capitoline Hill building" or something like that. What? Same same.
(Via Giphy).

Yeah so the building got nicknamed "typewriter building" because it apparently resembles one. I don't see it. But then again, some people tell me that they are brilliant and I don't see that either. So you can't really trust my judgement.

It's also referred to as the "wedding cake building" because it also resembles one. Really? I don't think so. How on earth does it look like this awesome wedding cake pictured here?
(Via Wow Amazing).

Still, what do I know about wedding cakes? Nothing. Which is why I was sad to learn that the wedding cake building didn't sell wedding cakes nor were they readily offering wedding cake advice. And they didn't sell typewriters either. Turns out that some guy got a big marble monument built in recognition of him being king and people decided to call it names. Disappointing.
(Via Giphy).

And no, we are not looking at getting a pizza wedding cake that was just an example.

#5 I don't understand the traffic.

So if you have been following my blog, you might already know that my skillful self passed my manual driving test on my first try earlier this year. No? Here's a reminder.
But even so, I still didn't manage to figure out how traffic in Rome works. It's not my fault really. The traffic rules are really different. Like horizontal stripes across roads are markings for carparks instead of pedestrian crossings.
And how the green man doesn't seem to give pedestrians the right of way. But then again, I don't have much experience on the road so I wouldn't know.

What I do like about Italy though, is that the cars are so small and tiny! Look! EVEN I AM CONSIDERABLY TALLER THAN THE CAR.
I MEAN, EVEN THE MOTORCYCLE IS TALLER THAN THE CAR.
And that was quite exciting. All the cars, seriously tiny. The number of Twizys and Smart Cars on the roads in Rome is possibly equal to the number of Toyotas you see on the roads here. But I'm bad at estimation so you shouldn't take my word for it. 

But we did also hire a very small and cute car to drive from Rome to Pompeii in!
The Fiat 500! HOW CUTE IS IT!!! When I say we, I mean James. James drove. I sat there and gave him moral support by singing wonderful songs with my tuneful voice.

#6 We got a great view of the city without fighting the queues.

So when you're in Rome, you might notice that most attractions come with a substantial crowd.
Crowd in the Pantheon. (Spot the Ang Moh!)
Crowds at the Trevi Fountain.
Queue at the Coliseum.

Yes, if you want to see cool Roman attractions, be prepared to brave the crowds. Unless you want to go to Castel Sant'Angelo. This is Castel Sant'Angelo.
Which for some reason, isn't all that crowded. You don't have to queue to get a ticket, nor do you have to fight away hoards of people to get some breathing space. Very empty and good.
And the views are pretty good too!
One of the views of the Vatican from Castel Sant'Angelo. 
View of Ponte Sant'Angelo from Castel Sant'Angelo.
View of more pontes (bridges because I now speak Italian like a pro) from Castel Sant'Angelo.

And it's not like the place isn't well known or famous. Why, it's where the riveting finale of Angels and Demons (2009) was filmed. (No I did not know that until James and I re-watched it over the weekend. We became very excited after finding out.)



Okay, I've come to the end of the post! Enjoy the rest of your week and of course, here's one of the wonderful songs which I entertained James with during our car ride from Rome to Pompeii.


Cheers! 
❤ Jac.
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You don't get a passport stamp when you go to the Vatican... and other travel tips.

September 27, 2016, 2:35 pm
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Hello guys!

So James and I were in Rome last week and we had a blast!
James and me at the Baths of Diocletian (Thermae Diocletiani). The baths were built from 298 to 306 and they last longer than your typical HDB sunshades.

And one of the many wonderful things about Rome is that it is home to the smallest sovereign state in the world, aka Vatican City. Meaning that there is Rome, and within Rome you have these huge boundary walls which differentiate the very religious beings from the wine guzzling, cigarette smoking Italians.
Most of the time, you can see people peeing at the walls. I do not know why. I wanted to take a photo but James felt that it was inappropriate. Seriously, there are people peeing on the Vatican walls and I'm the inappropriate one.
I thought this man was peeing in the park. But actually he was filling up his water bottle. Perhaps in anticipation of a bladder emptying session later on. We'll never know.

Anyway, I have been to the Vatican and now I am expert about everything Vatican. Everything touristy about the Vatican, that is. I'm not that great with the historical and religious bits of it. I was never the religious sort.
Anyway, here some touristy information and travel tips when you make your way to Vatican City. They are very useful,. I promise.

#1 Book your tickets online.

I'm not kidding. I know that the Singaporeans in us assume that we have some innate talent in queueing and flaunt your obscenely long queue times with pride, the longer the better. Oh you queued for 2 hours to buy Katong Laksa? PLEASE. That's nothing compared to the time I queued 4 hours to buy Lao Ban Tau Huey.
(Via Giphy).

But seriously, unless you want to spend half your holiday standing in line for the Vatican Museums, book your tickets online. See for your yourself.
Us, our tickets and online booking form, and the snaking queue.

And if standing in line isn't bad enough, you will constantly have to deal with annoying "tour guides", who try to sell you their guided tour packages to get you into the Vatican without queueing. Seriously, don't be stupid. Your Singaporean self might tell you to queue, but this is one of the times where the kiasu-ism in you must take over. Buy your tickets in advance here. You pay an additional 4€ per booking in admin charges, but as two guys in front of us at the security check put it, "Best 2€ I've ever spent."
(Via Giphy).

Opening hours:
9:00 – 18:00 (Mondays to Saturdays)
Ticketing:
16€ per adult, 4€ per online booking

#2 Respect the Vatican culture.

When travelling, we know that it's always important to, as far as possible, immerse yourself in the local culture and keep to the local customs and traditions. Don't be disrespectful, don't break their conventions, observe their traditions. Try your best to do as they do.
(Via Giphy).

And you know it can be quite a challenge. Like when we went to the Vatican. Do you know what they wear in the Vatican?
(Via WSJ).

Which I obviously can't wear. Red really clashes with my skin colour. Robes too. Lots of clothes do too. Why I almost didn't graduate because I really didn't want to wear the silly graduation gown. So much cloth, so little function.
But I digress. What I meant to say is that, suck it up. Put on more clothes or you won't be allowed into Vatican City. I mean, if I can do it so can you. Check out my very fashionable Vatican get up. Don't I look stunning?
Yes. Truly working it like a pro.
And in true fashion blogger #OOTD style - Long sleeved shirt: Superdry, £10; Striped top: H&M, forgot the price; Pants: Market in Dubai, James paid.

The good thing about my get up is that it's very versatile. Once you're out of the Vatican you can just, take it all off.
Me getting changed outside Vatican City.

And you can use it more than once. Rome is full of churches all of which have strict dress codes which you should adhere to. So just keep a pair of pants in your bag to pull over your shorts whenever you feel like popping into somewhere holy.
Me getting changed outside the Capuchin Crypt.

#3 Don't wear stupid shoes.

This might seem very commonsensical to you, but you'd be surprised by the number of people who have very bad judgement. Wear sneakers. Don't wear slippers. Don't wear heels. If you want to be vain, stay at home and take selfies of yourself in the bathroom mirror. Don't ever venture to the Vatican. You'd just be taking up space which can be better allotted to someone more sensible.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, you might be wondering if my fantastically versatile outfit gave me heatstroke. Well, it didn't. I climbed up 551 stairs  to the top of the cupola (dome) of St Peter’s Basilica in this awesome get up and emerged perfectly fine. We climbed the stairs because taking the elevator was an additional 2€. This 2€ is better spent on pre-booking tickets to the Vatican Museums and Sistine Chapel. 
The elevator only takes you up to the roof of St Peter’s Basilica where you can see the underside of the cupola. This underside can be easily seen from the first floor and you can take a decent photo by zooming. So don't bother paying if you just want to go to the roof of St. Peter's.
Underside of cupola.
Cupola from the roof.

So the lift ride to the roof will save you 320 stairs, but if you want to go all the way up to the cupola, you have to climb another 231 stairs. There is not lift to the top, so you might as well do everything by foot. And the views are much better there!
Unobstructed view of St Peter's Square.
View of Vatican City.

Opening hours:
8:00 – 18:00 (Apr – Sep) 
8:00 – 16:45 (Oct – Mar) 
Ticketing:
7€ via elevator, 5€ via the stairs

#4 Expect crowds.

Vatican City is crawling with tourists. Crawling is a pun, referring to the masses of tourists, and also the speed at which you can move around.
Crowd in St Peter's Basilica (spot James!)
Crowd near St Peter's Square. (Spot James!)
Crowd in the Vatican Museum. (James is not in this shot).

Yeah. "People mountain people sea" as they say in Chinese. (And believe me, there are lots of Chinese in the Vatican). So, my advice for the Vatican is, don't expect too much. If you want, catch a few episodes of The Borgias on Netflix and then make your way quickly through the compound and be pleased if you can identify things from the show. Or try to make your way quickly through, anyway. You can't really go quickly anywhere in the Vatican. 
(Via The Star).

And don't join tour groups. They suck. They stop in the middle of nowhere and block the passage ways preventing other tourists from passing through. And they wave their flags, umbrellas, and what have you all around. They are lethal. I finally understand why there's a selfie stick ban in Clarke Quay and Sports Hub. Those things can take someone's eye out!
(Via Giphy).

#5 Play "Where's Wally?"

So as we were shuffling our way through Vatican City, I started taking pictures of James in the amongst the crowds of people for my own amusement (see the two photos above). Little did I know that James was trying to do the same thing. Here! Have a go at the local version of "Where's Wally"! Or "Where's Wong?" as we call it. Here are the pictures in increasing level of difficulty. Mouseover for answers!
Okay and now I've come to the end of my Vatican City tips. However, here's one very important point to take note of:

You don't get a passport stamp when you go to the Vatican.

You might have seen posts on how you can possibly adorn your passport with a stamp from Vatican City, like this one on Don't Stop Living and are now on a quest to get your passport similarly stamped.
 I would like to say that I have done my extensive research and would like to clarify that this Vatican stamp is part of the Pilgrim's Passport, a document that is issued to pilgrims for identification for pilgrimages along the Camino de Santiago. Here are some pilgrim's passports with Vatican stamps.
(Via Caminoist).
(Via CNS).

In conclusion, you too can get your very own passport with your very own Vatican stamp. You must just, you know, become a pilgrim and go on a pilgrimage first.

Okay, I've come to the end of my blog post. Here's a song for you!


Cheers! 
❤ Jac.
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How to give your significant other a manly welcoming home.

October 6, 2016, 8:28 am
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Hello!

So James and I have been living together for some time. Apparently the term is "moved in". But I don't really know when I moved in. I just you know, stopped going home and his house became our home, And his bed became my our bed.
(Via Solidrop).

But more on that another time. So James is a frequent traveller. Yes. You think I travel frequently? James has to change his passport before it expires because he runs out of pages for stamps. -_-. And please note because he is British, he can request for thicker-than-normal passport (which he gets), and that he doesn't get any EU stamps. So, yes, James the frequent traveller.
So we had just come back from our trip to UK, France and Italy (omg I love Italy), and James had to fly back to Paris five days after we landed for work. So good. The last time I travelled far for work was last week. To Woodlands Industrial Estate. My journey there cost $38 and 50% of my iPad's battery.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, while James was in France, I was in Singapore wondering what I should do to give him a befitting welcome. So I racked my brains and this is what I came up with...
(Via Imgur).

 That's right. I could work my kitchen magic. This was before I knew that he was being housed in a chateaux and stuffing himself silly with wine and pains au chocolat of course. Anyhow! My girl friends always tell me that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. They are always posting pictures of them and their partners on FB and Instagram. And you know, everything on social media is real. So I guess cooking is what I must do to keep James around.
(Via The Daily Touch).

Well, I'm not the best cook of course. I mean, I make pretty decent coffee, but then that's probably because I use a Nespresso machine. But you know, I've heard about all the miracles of what love can help one achieve - scale mountains, lift cars of babies, jump across raging rivers. So maybe love will help me cook.
(Via Heart Disney).

I wanted to give James a welcome home that was befitting of his personality. His very manly and macho personality.
Oops, wrong photo. I meant to put this.
And it just so happened that I stumbled upon this Cosmopolitan video. And you know, no publications talks about guys more than Cosmopolitan. And you know, nothing is more manly than a bunch of penises.



So that's what I aspired to do. Get lots of ingredients, and welcome manly James home with a bunch of manly penises. Here's what I got!
(Clockwise from top right: CHOCOLATE, 1 bunch of bananas, 1 packet of marshmallows, lollipop sticks, sprinkles).

And here's how you go about making your chocolate banana penises to give your bf/husband a manly welcoming home.

#1 Peel the bananas and halve them.


You will notice that not all the banana will look the same. One might look a bit different from the rest. A bit longer/shorter/straighter etc. But that's okay. That's just life. Just like how we should not discriminate men based upon how their penis looks, we should not discriminate bananas based on how they look.

#2 Unwrap the chocolate.


So I bought three bars of chocolate because I figured it's better to have more chocolate than less chocolate. What happens if something goes wrong? What if I spill the chocolate? What if the bananas disintegrate into the chocolate and render it gloopy? What if I eat so much chocolate that I have none left to melt? Yes. Always better to have contingency chocolate lying around.
(Via Enjoy The Bits).

#3 Melt the chocolate.

So I understand that the conventional way to do this is on a stove, as shown in the video above and also in photos of professional chefs melting chocolate. Here's one right here.
(MasterChef's Gary Mehigan. Via The Daily Telegraph).

But, before we go into that, let me tell you a story about James. This was back in the day when James was a single guy, living it out in his bachelor pad, with a bed that he could call his own and more cupboard space than he could even dream of.
(Via Make A Gif).

One day, he decided to fry himself an egg. So he bought some eggs and oil, put his pan on his stove, poured in the oil, cracked in an egg and waited for that egg of chicken to turn into his egg of breakfast.
(Via Giphy).

But nothing happened. As it turned out, James had yet to PUB to turn his gas supply on. And he hadn't noticed that he had no gas. After nine months of living in the apartment. (And we still don't have gas, but that's okay. Because I am a MICROWAVE QUEEN).
(Via Giphy).

But I digress. So you know, because we have no gas, I couldn't melt the chocolate over the stove. But as I mentioned, I'm a microwave queen. So I melted the chocolate by standing the cups of chocolate into bowls of microwaved water.
Stir until you get a smooth consistency. Like so.
I know! Hypnotic isn't it!

#4 Stick your lollipop sticks into the bananas.

I know that the video shows ice cream sticks. But I seriously couldn't find any and I had 2 hours to figure out how to make chocolate banana penises in time for James to get back. I thought squeezing in a 6 magnum food coma recovery during that time would be cutting it a bit too close.
You can buy the lollipop sticks from Bake It Yourself Singapore, about $3 for a bag of 25. Also, here you will learn that, like penises, not all bananas are equal. Some are good, and some are not so good.
(The one on the left is good, the one on the right is not so good).

#5 Coat your bananas.

Yeah that's right! It's time to dip them bananas in chocolate!
I know. My photos make it look effortless and clean. But please believe me when I say it can be a pain. Especially with the bigger bananas. Bigger is not always better. The bigger ones have a tendency to split apart after being dipped into the chocolate. And then you have to go around fishing for blobs of banana in chocolate. Delicious experience, yes. But pleasant? Not so much.
(Via Metro).

#6 Decorate your bananas!

Okay here's the fun bit! You get to decorate your chocolate covered penises bananas with whatever you want! I bought a bunch of sprinkles from Bake It Yourself. Or quins as they call them in posh baking stuff.
From left to right: CK neon fish sprinkles, CK bright sugar crystals, Wilton Spring Chick Mix, CK multicoloured hearts sprinkles. All from Bake It Yourself.

And then, dip your bananas into the sprinkles! It's the best thing. 

#7 Freeze your chocolate-coated sprinkled bananas.


Just for about an hour or so. Chocolate doesn't take that long to harden.

#8 Marshmallow them up!

Like how penises are usually accompanied by balls, chocolate coated bananas should come with marshmallows. And you get these marshmallow balls but cutting a marshmallow almost into two with a pair of scissors.
TIP: It's better if you buy bigger marshmallows. I had intended to get the Rocky Mountain mega marshmallows as shown below, because bigger marshmallows = bigger balls. But somehow I couldn't find any. I went to Giant, Cold Storage, Candy Empire, and The Cocoa Trees. Figures that you can never seem to find the stuff you want when you actually need it.
(Via Marshmallow USA).

And then you push your cut marshmallows up the sticks and arrange them below your banana penises.
AREN'T THEY AMAZING?!

#9 Serve your man his chocolate banana penises!

And they are delicious! James even dipped them in coffee for kicks!

Okay so you may encounter a few hiccups along the way, but I have identified them all and also will present you with solutions to avoid messing up (like how I did).

So you may notice that the person in the video had lined her tray with baking paper before setting the banana down. That is essential. Or your bananas will freeze to the plate and you will end up having stuff like this happening.
Yeah your banana penis will be uncoated on one side and cracked on the other. But no worries. They still taste good and look more or less like how they should. And anyway, all chocolate covered banana penises tastes the same. We shouldn't discriminate based on appearances alone.
(Via Giphy).

Also you should keep your chocolate covered banana penises in the freezer, and put them in the fridge for 30 minutes before you consume them. If you take try to eat them too soon, they'll be too hard.If you put them out there for too long the bananas get mushy and wet and what you get is this...
Yeah. Not so appetising. Anyway, chocolate covered banana penises! I highly recommend them! Very easy to make and quite tasty! James can attest to that!

Okay and I've come to the end of my post. I'm a domestic goddess now obviously. And if you want to try out making your own chocolate banana penises please let me know how it goes!


Meanwhile, TGIF guys!
❤ Jac.
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What every girl should have in her office cubicle.

October 16, 2016, 6:48 am
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Hey guys!

So in your experience of thumbing through glossy pages of Comso and her world (the now old school version of scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed), you may have come across articles that go something along the lines of...
And seriously, have you seen what they list in these articles? "Natural looking nail polish". "Scented candles". "Deodorant remover sponge". "Cell phone charger". Hey seriously, these are not practical things to put on a list. Let me break it down for you.
(As suggested by Business Insider).

Natural looking nail polish? What are you thinking about? That people will spontaneously need to do their nails in the middle of the day? Seriously, there is a limit to how frivolous you can be. While it is okay to pick up some nail polish on a whim and paint them at your desk, having nail polish at your table because it's a necessity is a bit stupid.
(Via Zuna Naturals, as suggested by Darling Darlings).

And scented candles. Where do you work in? A spa?! It's the most ridiculous suggestion ever. Don't you have paper on your desk? Doesn't that make candles a fire hazard? The only time candles are permitted in the office is when they are on birthday cakes. If any of my colleagues started burning scented candles in the office I swear I would douse it in lighter fluid and watch as her table burns down in flames.
(As suggested by Business Insider).

And "Deodorant remover sponge". Like what? It's a normal occurrence to suddenly spot huge patches of deodorant on your clothes? Handy to have around maybe, but necessity? I would like to point out that if this is a regular occurrence for you then you are clearly using deodorant wrongly. But if you're worried about the odd patch now and then, just put the sponge next to the washing machine and do your deodorant removing antics when you're doing the laundry for goodness sake.
ALSO, CELLPHONE CHARGER. Not even additional charger. Like, you are reminding someone to have a cell phone charger, in the office. Are you assuming that your readers came straight from the year 2000? It's an office necessity. You might as well tell readers that they need their laptops at their office desk.

My point is that all these lists don't seem to be very well thought through. So, I have a better list which is prepared after my half a decade's worth of office experience. Read and learn how you can better fare in the only place of solace in the corporate world which is your cubicle.

#1 Blazer.

I always have blazers in the office. Not blazer. Blazers. 4 at each time maybe. Blazers are great. You can wear tank tops, dresses with huge cut-outs at the back, and no one will know the difference. You can have the sloppiest outfit on but still look like the smartest person in the room because you just happened to throw something collared on top.
And then after work you just shrug your blazer off and casually saunter away like you made the effort to change into a totally different outfit. Blazers are great! Oh and they also protect you from the cold. So there's that as well.

#2 Hand cream.

So I don't know if this happens in your office, but in my office, there are sometimes throngs of new people who get hired at once. And when this happens they have to up to every single person in the office to shake hands and introduce themselves. I am not very important so usually when it comes to my turn I'm like more than 30 people behind.
(Via Giphy).

Which is fine. I like meeting new people. I like having new colleagues. New colleagues means more people to share the work with. BUT. I don't like shaking hands after you've shaken like 30 hands before me. Sorry, but your hand will inevitably be sweaty, clammy, and riddled with the germs and bacteria from 30 people before me. And goodness knows what they were doing before they came into contact with your hand.
(Via Buzzfeed).

So, sometimes when I hear people coming, I make a huge display of putting on hand cream. "Sorry, I would shake your hand but I just put on hand cream and I don't want to be disgusting." That way I appear both considerate and memorable as the weird hand cream girl. But it's okay. As long as I don't have to touch some germy hands.
I have no blazer on because someone walked past as I had all my blazers draped over me and I had to pretend that I was doing a blazer stock take.

#3 Hand sanitiser.

Because sometimes you can't hear them coming and you inevitably have to shake their sweaty hands. And of course sometimes you want to snack and it's better to handle food with clean, alcohol-cleansed hands.

#4 Sanitary pads/tampons.

Since we were talking about sanitation, I would like to say having a stash of pads and tampons in the office is a necessity. I don't know why people don't put it on their lists. I mean, I know people don't have it. I have given away so many pads to people who go around begging for them once a month.
(Via Giphy).

And I don't know why people don't have them in the office. It's not like they take up a lot of space. You can stuff a few tampons into each pocket of your blazer and you're good for the rest of the month (See? Blazers are better than cardigans in that sense). And if you have secret snacks in your desk drawer, you can hide them under the pads because serious, which psycho would go rummaging through your sanitary pads?
(Via Giphy).

But you know, whilst it's important to have a stash of sanitary pads and tampons in our office desk, it's equally important to be discrete about it. Like my male colleague once found this in a desk that he had taken over.
Girls, please remember to clear out all your feminine hygiene products when you move out of your office and also, if you want to get a pouch to put your pad, please choose something that doesn't scream "I CONTAIN SANITARY PADS".

#5 Tissue paper.

Tissue paper is very important. Let's say you are in possession of some snacks and someone comes over wanting some. The person might just reach into your can of Pringles to grab a handful. That is unsanitary. I don't need your arm going into my Pringles can. Goodness knows what funky organisms are living in the dense ecosystem that is your arm hair.
(Via Coub).

So you need tissue paper to pour your Pringles out so that you can share them with this hairy thing without worrying about bits of their arm hair later ending up stuck between your teeth. And also, tissue paper is very useful for other things as well. Like blowing your nose, wiping up spills, and for posing with in photos.

#6 Mirror.

No it's not for you to touch up your make up. It's so that you can see when your boss is coming so that you can minimise your Facebook/ Amazon/ Qatar Airways windows.
It's also important of course, to remember to check the mirror so that your boss doesn't stumble upon you booking last minute flights to Shanghai.

#7 Slippers.

Because your shoes hurt. Because you have smelly feet. And most importantly, because you never know when it might rain and you don't want to squelch around awkwardly in cold and soggy shoes.
(Via Giphy).

I mean, slippers are ideal. But it's no harm having a whole arsenal of shoes in addition to your slippers.
(Half of my office shoe collection. Because you never know when one shoe might give way).

Bonus: Nail polish remover.

I would have ended my list there, but I just wanted to add nail polish remover to the list. It's not a necessity, but I only remember to remove my chipping nail polish in the office. Never when I'm at home.
(Via Cute-icles & Nails).

So if you happen to be someone who exclusively remembers to clean up her 3 week old manicure in the office, put some nail polish remover in your desk drawer. It's a good way to make sure you don't wander around with you leaving a trail of nail polish flakes in your wake.

Anyway! Sorry this came out later than I expected but, you know, taking selfies at work isn't as simple as it's made out to be. But here's a great song to sing at work to end this post.



Cheers! 
❤ Jac.
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James' Jibber-Jabber: The Fun Guy.

October 23, 2016, 9:01 am
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Hello,

I wasn't very sure of what to blog about this week. Sure, I had a vague idea but you know, some ideas need time to be nurtured and cultivated. And I prefer to nap.
But when I am awake, I am usually talking to James, who can sometimes throw up good blog fillers. So here goes, another installation to the series I like to call...

So James and I decided to try the Seoul Garden which had just opened opposite Harry's in Harbourfront. Yes, we chose a non-alcohol serving establishment over a bar because we thought that food would be more filling than alcohol. We can be quite mature at times.
(Via Buzzfeed).

We had a great time grilling beef and dunking mushrooms into the soup. I love mushrooms. Mushrooms are great and delicious. I can see why fairies and magical creatures had lives which revolved around mushrooms and toadstools. They are amazing!
(Via Imgur).

We were really full after our meal because we are greedy buggers who eat 20 times more than we really should. But James was convinced that it's okay because all we had was beef and vegetables.
Me, "I didn't have any vegetables."
James, "Well you have lots of mushrooms."
Me, "Mushrooms are not vegetables. They are fungi."
James, "Yeah like me."
Then I thought that would be it. But no, James' brand of humour extends far beyond normal human standards.
So here was what happened next...
James, "I'm such a fungi that you don't give me mushroom."
Yes everyone, this is the man of my dreams. Meanwhile, here's a picture of us at Halloween Horror Nights 6, it was great! The best part was when a ghost jumped out at the girl in front of us. The girl screamed and ran into her bf's arms. Sadly, she missed and ran straight into the wall instead. This is followed closely by the girl who saw a clown, screamed, and lunged out of the emergency exit without missing a beat.

And here's a great video to end the post.


Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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Some tips on moving-in with your boyfriend.

October 27, 2016, 8:05 am
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Hello guys!

So you might have noticed from several of my posts that I have moved in with James. We're in the process of buying a house, yes, but I moved in say...earlier this year? Last year? It's hard to keep tabs on this. I'd say it was a gradual process which eventually just led to me not going home.
Anyway, because now James has given me a ring and cannot escape from a lifetime of my psycho-bitch clutches warm and kindly self, I can now proclaim myself an expert on how to move into a guy's house and getting him to make you stay forever.
But before I begin, I would like to caveat that I was not aware that I was moving into James' place, and my observations are made in hindsight. I'm not some crazy person who tries to take over homes okay. I'm crazy, but just a different, more rational kind of crazy. So here goes...

#1 Take up very little room.

You want a place in his house? Don't do it by spreading your belongings around. I took up a chair in his living room. I lived out of that chair. All my stuff was in that chair. I had the one chair.
(Via Giphy).

No, it wasn't as luxurious as that. I had a dining room chair. And I piled everything on it. My bag, my clothes, my charger, my extra bag...
(Via Memes).

Eventually James gave me a drawer. And then two. And then half a cupboard. And another cupboard. And eventually I got to where I am now. Which is, all that and also 75% of the bed if James is lucky. Most of the time, it's something like this.
(Via The Gifts Guy).

And oh, I still have my chair.
(I had to take this quickly while James was on a conference call. I think I did a not bad job).

#2 Instill fear in him.

Yes. We all know it's every guy's dream to own a bachelor pad like Barney's.
(Via Imgflip).

And we also know that they know that nothing will spoil a bachelor pad more than having a girl staying in that pad. Girl living with you ≠ Bachelor status.
(Via Her Campus).

So scare him into being scared of living alone. You know how I did it? I hid a stromtrooper in his bathroom.
It was the loudest exclamation of "JESUS CHRIST" I ever heard. Best $50 I spent. Read more here.

ANYWAY, scare him. Don't let him sleep in peace. Make him feel uneasy. That way he won't want to live alone. He will yearn for your company and get persuaded to ask you to move in.

#3 Don't interfere.

You know what girls like? Complaining. I love complaining. Well, just that if you disguise it with a pinch of snark and a dash of  sarcasm you can upgrade it to the way more fashionable "bitching".
(Via Buzzfeed).

But complaining sucks. It's not your house. Don't rearrange things. Be as inconspicuous as possible unless you are planning to scare him. Blend into his furniture. One day, he will just accept your presence as part of his house. Don't change anything. Guys don't want girls interfering with their bachelor pad stuff.
(Via Giphy).

And then one day, he will get so used to you being around that he will feel weird when you're not! Because he has come to associate you with his home. He will ask you to move in. And then he will feel honoured that you're then. THEN, you can change whatever you want. Store 48 bottles of Coke Light in his apartment. It's fine! Remember - you're doing him a favour!
Photo by the good smithankyou.

#4 Be ugly.

You know how everyone says you have to make a good impression on the first date?
(Via Giphy).

It does not apply for moving in. You don't want to impress the guy. You need him to see you at rock bottom so that he won't have any unrealistic expectations of his future. You want him to be pleasantly surprised when you are well-behaved, not for him to expect you to be well behaved all the time.
(Via Giphy).

You must be at your worst behaviour so that he becomes highly impressed by your occasional bouts of good behaviour. So much so that he will invite you to move in with him. So you know, when you're at his house, don't be all pretty and made up. You need him such that he will take photos of you because he thinks you're pretty. Even though you look quite ridiculous, are shouting in his ear, and trying to drag him out for dim sum.

#5 Cook up a storm.

I'm a brilliant cook. We have no gas. But I make do. Here are some things that I have made for James.
And sometimes I make coffee, cereal with milk, and alcoholic drinks. The important thing is that he will recognise your effort and invite you to move in. Because seriously, do you think guys will make themselves chocolate penis bananas? No. But you can! (Seriously, if I can make them so can you).

Okay! I've come to the end of my very helpful and useful advice. Good luck with your moving-in endeavours! May you have a wonderful life of cohabitation that is slightly skewed in your favour.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend guys!


Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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Happy Halloween!

October 31, 2016, 8:42 am
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Hey guys,

Just thought I'd make a quick post for Halloween! So I dressed up a bit differently this year. Normally I would have gone out as a slutty policeman, slutty cheerleader, slutty tiger... you know, generally a slutty something.
But you know, I'm now a changed person. I'm now conservative and stuff.  So this year, I decided to be something more wholesome and covered up. All part of the aging process you see. Anyway, I dressed up as a Starbucks Frappe!
I was very pleased with my handiwork. And I also made James a matching outfit, which he donned quite happily. (Thank goodness).
THE FIRST TIME I'M WEARING A WHOLESOME COUPLE OUTFIT! Not James' first time though. I have seen pictures of James in a garish Austin Powers costume being extremely friendly with his friend who was dressed up as Dr Evil.
And yes, you saw that right. I made our outfits. I might put up something on how I went about making them if I don't get lazy. Anyway, speaking of making stuff...here's what James and I made on Saturday! A jack-o'-lantern!
I thought it would be really difficult, but it was quite simple and fun! And it worked out very well too. I was very proud of James (And also me. I scooped out the gunky stuff and carved out three teeth).
Yes we are very domesticated now. We make lots of things. Strangely enough, home-cooked meals is not one of them. But I did make this on Sunday though...
Yeah. Happy Halloween bitches. HAHA. Also people have asked me what app I used to get this effect. The app is Photoshop and you can buy it from Adobe. More another time! I'm going to spend the rest of my evening admiring our jack-o'-lantern.



Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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#DIY: A Starbucks Halloween!

November 6, 2016, 4:48 am
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Hello guys!

So as you guys might have seen, I dressed up as my favourite Starbucks drink for Halloween - a Non-Fat Sugarfree Vanilla Frappuccino!
And James was a barista. If I were pretentious enough I could tell you that I got James to dress up as a barista because it is symbolic to our relationship and that he is the one who made me into the person I am today. However, I am honest enough to tell you that I put James in that outfit because I figured he might say not to anything which was more hassle than putting an apron on.
Anyway, just in case it's your lifelong dream to dress up as a Starbucks frappe, here's how you can go about doing it...

#1 Get all your materials ready.

Here I have, from the bottom left hand corner in clockwise direction, green and white felt, a pair of scissors, double-sided tape, fabric glue, thread, scotch tape, H&M dress, printout of Starbucks logo. So the most expensive thing here is the dress. It costs $12.90. But that's okay. If you buy it together with a tank top, then you get them at 2 for $20. So you know, $2.90 discount.

#2 Make the Starbucks logo.

So I guess you could stick a printout onto the dress, but paper is flimsy and I didn't want to rip a hole in my logo before I finished prancing around in my dress. So here's how I did it - I stuck a paper printout onto green felt and painstakingly cut the Starbucks logo out.
It's harder than it looks because you need lots of patience and. Which I have. I just choose not to exhibit this quality in social settings because most people are silly and don't deserve being tolerated. But cutting out a Starbucks logo to stick on an outfit that I'll only wear once? Totally worth it.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway! Mount your cutout onto a piece of white felt, and secure it with fabric glue. 
Then you're ready to stick your Starbucks logo onto your dress!

#3 Make the whipped cream.

Okay to be honest, I don't really care much about whipped cream. I don't like the taste and they say that it makes you fat. But! I do agree that drinks with whipped cream on them look much better than drinks without. Just take a look at the drinks below. 
(Via Starbucks).

The one on the left looks like a bald guy who forgot his wig, and the middle one looks like a snooty bitch who thinks that she's above everyone at a party. But the one on the right however, looks like the fun girl who knows how to make a conversation sparkle.
(Via Giphy).

Yes, I just personified the food. I used to take literature. Get used to it. Anyway, I made some whipped cream for my dress because I wanted to look like I could make any conversation sparkle. 
(Via Giphy).

To do that I cut circular discs from the white felt. I made the discs roughtly the same size as the logo. Roughly. After a while I just didn't care. Anyway! After you have cut them out, you can roll the discs into cones and stick them together using the fabric glue. It's tedious work, but not as bad as making the logo.

You need a lot of felt to make the whipped cream. I went to Daiso to get $6 worth.
Me, my Daiso felt, and lots of felt cones.

#4 Assemble your dress.

After you have made $6 worth of Daiso felt cones, you have to sew them onto your dress. You have to sew the ends of the cones to the fabric of your dress, and then sew the edges of the cones to the edges of the adjacent cones, or your whipped cream will look floppy. (I'm serious, try it and you'll see what I'm talking about).

So this takes a while...
But you'll get there eventually. Don't worry! Persevere and you too, will be able to have your very own toilet-selfie worthy Starbucks costume.

#5 The Barista.

So you have a fantastic DIY outfit but you know what they say, it's the accessories that make the outfit. And I had decided that my accessory was a barista named James.

So here's what you need to make your own barista apron. Buy a green apron. I got mine from Lazada for $6. And wow. It's now on sale and going for $4.90!
(Via Lazada).

And then I cut a smaller logo from the felt (again, very painful process), and stuck it onto the apron. I  also got out the Starbucks name tag and pins that I got from the Starbucks Tote Bag Set and stuck all of them onto the apron. Being a tote bag junkie comes in useful at times!
(Via Starbucks).

And voila! That's how we got our outfit!
Note: it's a good idea to stock up on Starbucks paper bags before October begins. I learnt that Starbucks introduces their Christmas range in mid-October so all Starbucks outlets islandwide started giving out their Christmas-themed paper bags (which are more red than green). I had to go around the office begging for old Starbucks paper bags.
(Via Giphy).

So yes! That's how we got our Starbucks outfits. I make chocolate penis bananas and also Halloween costumes. Epitome of domestication.

Anyway, here's a video. Usually I end with a trashy song, but this video is too good to not be shared.


Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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#madebygoogle: Pixel Tips.

November 8, 2016, 10:46 am
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Hello guys!

So if you haven't already know, I'M A PROUD OWNER OF THE GOOGLE PIXEL!
You can't imagine how long I've been waiting for this phone. I've always been a huge HTC fan. Well, I tell a lie. I was a Nokia fan until smart phones became a thing and Nokia phones just became something you wanted to throw at your worst enemy's head.
(Via Know Your Memes).

I was about to order it off Google UK's store, and wait 2 - 3 weeks for it to arrive, but HAHA. I found it on Lazada a day before it's official launch last Friday, 4 November. So I ordered it as soon as I saw it online, and it arrived on Friday, just as the Google Pixel officially launched on Lazada! I was, SO HAPPY.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, I've been familiarising myself with the phone and here are some tips/ thoughts that I have.

#1 Sort your phone out before porting over.

Unlike other phones which require some kind of software/account/computer related mechanism to transfer all your stuff from old phone to new phone, you just have to connect your new Pixel into your old phone and everything just gets copied over automatically. It's great!
So everything was transferred onto my Pixel. Very fast, very convenient.  The thing is that my old phone is full of unsorted crap that I wasn't very keen on having in my new phone. So I had to sort my new phone out after doing the transfer. Which was quite fast because I was deleting entire folders as opposed to selected items. But, save yourself the trouble give your old phone a spring clean before connecting them up.
(Via Giphy).

#2 There's a selfie timer function.

So I don't know if you already know this, but I SUCK at taking selfies. James is always helping the both of us take selfies because I'm a total loser when it comes to that. Yes, my selfie skills are comparable to that of a T-Rex.
(Via iamboey).

But you know #independentwoman and all that, so I can't always depend on James to take my selfies for me. But HTC phones are set up such that the default mode on the front camera is set on a 2 second timer. So what I have started doing is to lean my phone against something, set my timer, and adjust myself so that I don't take too horrible a selfie.
(Via Smithankyou).

But this wasn't the case with the Google Pixel. I panicked a little when the front camera snapped a shot before had properly composed myself. There wasn't any lag time. THEN. I found the timer function and all is well with the world.
(Yes, that's my finger in the bottom left hand corner because I had to use my hands to take a selfie/screenshot. Which I can't do very well. At all).

Oh and YES. The camera is very good.

#3 The "Invert Colour" function is cool.

It seems totally pointless, but it's a function available when you drag down the notification shade. And since you can, WHY NOT?
Anyway, I later found out that the invert colours function is available so that it's easier to read stuff on your phone in the dark. Which is a handy thing to have, if the phone didn't also come with a Night Light option.
When you turn on the Night Light on your phone, your screen looks something like this. Like you're wearing a pair of rose-tinted shades.
Also, just in case you buy the Pixel and decide to show off your cool Invert Colours and Night Light mode to your friends, don't bother doing a screenshot okay. It'll just appear like you are spamming your friends with screenshots of your home screen. I photoshopped these. Yes. What I lack in drawing/painting/sketching I make up in PhotoShop.
In hindsight, I should have gotten blood to drip from my fingers. Oh well. Minor issue.

#4 Display your battery percentage.

When you first get your Pixel, the battery icon in the status bar only gives a pictorial indication of how much battery is left in your phone. Unless, you charge your phone. Which now with the Pixel's excellent battery life, only happens once a day. This can be very annoying for the control freaks that live within each and every one of us who need to know and monopolise every bit of information that happens to be floating around.
(Via Giphy).

In order to prevent yourself from imploding with frustration over not knowing exactly how many percent of your battery is left at one glance, swipe down your notification shade and hold the settings icon. The System UI Tuner will be unlocked as a new option in your setting menu.
And now, you can enable your inner control freak to monitor the battery percentage AT ALL TIMES. Life has never been better.
(Via Giphy).

Also, since we're talking about battery life, the battery life of a Pixel is GREAT. I charge it once a day, and my battery has yet to hit 0%. The time taken to get a full charge is like, extremely fast. I now charge my phone when I wake up, and it's done before I leave the house. It's fantastic.

#5 Turn on developer mode.

You should turn on the developer mode in your Google Pixel. Why? Because enabling developer mode makes you feel like you're in on a secret. How do you do it?
(Via Reaction Gifs).

Go to Settings → About Phone → Build Number. Tap on Build Number 7 times, and you'll get the notification "You are now a developer!" And when you go back to your settings, there's a "Developer Options" item available to you!
And big whoop, what does that mean? It means that you can adjust the scales for window animation, transition animation, and animator duration. Read: your can change the speed at which your swap from one screen to another. But my advice? Don't touch it. Making is 0.5x is too fast, any anything more than one makes you want to die of impatience.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Okay yes! I have come to the end of my list of my tips on the Google Pixel. Fantastic phone, buy it now. And now I leave you with a phone-related song.



Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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The Big 3-0 (not mine).

November 13, 2016, 6:52 am
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Hi guys!

So James and I are currently bumming around the Hamad International Airport lounge in Doha because we have a 3 hour wait before our next flight.
Yes, literally bumming around. With my trusty Coke Light of course.

We're going to Norway! (Edit: we are now in Norway. James is unpacking and I am waiting to go for lunch HUNGRY.)
It's very exciting. For me that is. The last time I was in Norway was in 2014 when Edwina and I went to Iceland. We had two 7-hour stopovers in Oslo where we ate salmon, visited Christmas markets and drank mulled wine, recaffeinated at the various hipster coffee joints, and saw one of the world's few waterfalls located within the city limits (Jurong Bird Park is not counted).
But you know, people who visit Norway show you pictures like THIS.
(Via Visit Oslo).

And not pictures of like, the train station. So I'm very happy that James is going there to work for a week. It's going to be lots of fun. For me, that is. But my happiness is James' happiness. So same same.

Anyway! I just wanted to talk about the big 3-0. It's when you turn officially old and ancient, by the way. And it's really up to you to accept that you're now just a dusty antique that's lying on the shelf/behind the cupboard/in a drain/who cares no one will find you. You get the idea.
(Via Buzzfeed).

So two of my best friends turn 30 this year!
Thad's birthday is on the 10th of October (10/10), and James' (Chinese) birthday is on the 12th of December (12/12). So we decided to hold their joint birthday celebration on the 11th of November (11/11). Yes, sometimes, things work out quite well.
(Via Giphy).

And when you are old and dusty, you need people around you who care about you enough to remind you that you are old and to stop deluding yourself into a sense of youth. Anyway, when we were in university, I saw this cake. I cannot remember how exactly the cake looked like. But it was something like these cakes here:
And in the middle of lecture I went: 

"JAMES JAMES JAMES, WHEN YOU TURN 30, YOU WILL GET THIS COFFIN CAKE." 
James, "I am still young. By the time I am 30, you will be old and you would have forgotten."

Right. Fat hope. Like I would forget something as exciting as this. And I'm not 30 yet. So there. Anyway, 6 years later...
James and Thad were really pleased as you probably can tell.
James, "YOUR youth. I am still young."Right.
Anyway, lots of credit goes to Moks for getting her friend to bake the cake for us! It was really well done and very reasonably priced. If you're thinking of getting a funky cake, you might want to consider looking her up at Fait Maison. Anyway, it was lots of fun and it's great knowing that no matter how old I get, these two idiots will always be older than me ❤.
Happy birthday guys! Okay, and now, back to my holiday.

Cheers!
❤ Jac.

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Search

Taking Business Class on Qatar Airways.

November 22, 2016, 4:46 pm
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Hello guys!

So I took my first Business Class flight on the way back from Oslo last week!
I know, I know. People are bragging about their Suites Class flights and what have you and I'm here writing about my Business Class flight. But, my blog, my life. Jac (and James) don't have the money to fork out tens of thousands to fly First Class. But we have accumulated enough miles to upgrade ourselves to Business Class! So let me tell you how it went!

James has always been a staunch supporter of Qatar Airways, and takes all his flights with them. When we first started dating, he spoke of the many wonders of Qatar Airways' Privilege Club and convinced me to sign up. I've been hooked on Qatar Airways since.
(Via Qatar Airways Facebook).
Anyway, Business Class on Qatar is AWESOME. Usually, us Privilege Club members get to go to the regular Oryx lounge in Doha's Hamad International Airport. I was pretty excited when James brought me there the first few times because well, it's a great lounge. You can plonk yourself down in plush chairs, eat free food, and use the free Wi-Fi. Oh, and help yourself to all the Coke Light in the world, of course.
I loved it. But James kept going on about a bigger, and better lounge which I had never gotten the chance to go to. UNTIL LAST WEEK. The Al Mourjan Business Lounge, which is reserved for proper Business Class travellers, is HUGE. It goes on forever!
(Via Business Class).
As you can tell, it's mainly empty. Very big, very empty, and very exclusive! It was great! A really big step up from the Oryx Lounge, which you can tell from the photo below, can be quite packed at times.
Anyway, we didn't have time to take too many photos in the Al Mourjan Business Lounge because we had a one hour stopover and we wanted to eat the wonderful lounge food! The food on the menu is made to order. I was very excited and wanted to order everything.
(Via Australian Business Traveller).

James the frequent traveller, was more reasonable and told me that I would be eating lots of food on the Business Class flight and recommended that we share the "Deli lamb - roast lamb with cucumber, tomato, onion, lettuce in olive loaf and served with minted mayonnaise". It was really good guys.
James also got me a Vodka Diet Coke, which is by far, the best drink in the world. Okay. Then we boarded our flight. And for once I got to go in by the special gate!
James was very good at pointing out all these special perks. I was just like staring at everything, wide-eyed and bushy tailed (and very unglam because, who looks glam on a flight? Be practical guys).

Anyway, Business Class, IS AWESOME. First, there are compartments that can fit EVERYTHING. Gone are the days where you have trouble squeezing your iPad or even your phone into the pocket of the seat in front of you. Your Macbook? No problem. Your full to the brim Longchamp bag? Fits into the same compartment easily.
There's even a drawer to fit your Nike Mid-Cut Air Force Ones! Life has never been better.
Oh and just in case that's not enough space for you, here you go. Another compartment you can use once your finish your complimentary bottle of water and remove your noise cancelling headphone and you have space for...well, I don't know really. I didn't use all the space I was given.
Speaking of things that I was given, we were given complimentary pyjamas! And you may wonder why anyone will want to change into pyjamas when they can wear their own clothes? Well some people (aka me), can forget to change out of their Uniqlo Extra Warm Heattech top before boarding a flight. So having a set of comfy clothes on board to change into is a huge plus!
We were also given the newly launched Giorgio Armani amenity kits. James has many from the previous range because he flies business quite often. We use them to store our cables. Sometimes I steal them and use them to store my *ahem* feminine hygiene products when I travel. What? It's in a manly pouch! No one would know the difference. Anyhow! I'm glad to have my own pouch now. I felt very important and exclusive. And the pouches are really quite nice!
(Via Qatar Airways Facebook).

And you know what they contain? Lotion, perfume, lip balm, a hairbrush, an eye mask, and SOCKS. Which is important when you forget to change out of your Uniqlo Heattech socks before boarding the flight.
(Via Qatar Airways).

Anyway, I had a wonderful flight. It started with champagne.
And then moved on to me discovering all the cool features of Business Class. Like all the cool buttons available! In economy class, the only buttons you get to press control the light and maybe those of the person beside you. In Business Class, there's a button for everything! Like the window blinds. You don't open them by yourself, goodness no. You press an arrow on the wall of the plane. AND, you don't just have one blind. You have two blinds, a night blind an a day blind. Wow. And the seats, I know you've heard that they can fully recline, but you can adjust practically anything to your level of comfort with a little panel of buttons by the side of your seat - the height of the arm rests, the incline of the back rest, anything! It's AWESOME.
And then I was offered a selection of newspapers on a silver platter (not exaggerating). So I chose NYT because I don't read Arabic, French, and it seemed the most atas out of the rest of the English papers.
I also asked for some Coke Light, and was pleased when it was served with a selection of nuts. Wow. Snacks with my Coke Light. Life couldn't get any better.
As my waking life was not going to be improving significantly, I decided to go to sleep. It was amazing. I had so much space. Let me demonstrate how spacious the seats are. This is James. And even he with his super long arms has trouble with reaching his giant touch screen.
So I had a really wonderful time sprawling out on the comfy reclining seat and falling asleep. Please also note all the available table top space which you can use to plonk all your stuff on.
A very far cry from how I sleep in Economy class - leaning on James neck support and hiding under the blanket to provide myself with a secure sleeping environment.
And then we were woken up for a cooked breakfast which was served on a tablecloth. It was a three course meal actually, and even came with a small bread basket, my choice of jam, and salt and pepper shakers. I don't even have salt and pepper shakers in my own kitchen ok.
James with his hot breakfast.

Sadly, all good things, like my Business Class flight, had to come to an end. But you know, James still has many Qmiles leftover, and I have 58,000 Qmiles in my own Privilege Club account. SO, I am looking very forward to upgrading myself to Business Class on lots and lots more flights to come :D.

Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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Oslo on Overdrive.

December 1, 2016, 12:25 pm
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Hello guys!

So I was talking about how James and I managed to upgrade ourselves to Business Class on Qatar Airways on our way back from Oslo. And the reason that we were in Oslo is because James was there for work, and you know, since we get free accommodation why not?
#selfiesofjacwithjamesworkinginthebackground (or foreground in this instance)

And I don't know what you guys know of following people around while they go about their business trips, but it's really not a couple holiday or anything. It's more like James going about his daily life in another country with me being on leave and gloating at James whenever he goes off to the office or for meetings. But, more on that another time.

Anyway! I managed to get a lot done in Oslo this time around, and here are my key takeaways from my trip!

#1 The Oslo Pass is worth it.

Oslo has a a tourist pass which is very straightforwardly called the "Oslo Pass". And it's great! For a fixed price you get to go into most of Oslo's museums, free public transport, and discounts at random eateries.
The Olso Pass isn't cheap. It costs about SGD $56 for a 24 hour pass and SGD $105 for a 72 hour pass. You can divide the prices by 6 to get a rough idea of how much everything is in SGD.
But! It's really easy to make the Oslo Pass worth your money. Entry to each museum ranges from 50 to 100 NOK, each public transport ride costs about 32 NOK, 52 NOK if you do take it out of the main city. But I guess you only change zones if say, you are on a business trip and your conference hotel is in a place called Asker. And let me tell, you, Oslo has plenty of museums. Here's are all the museums I went to in 3 days.
  1. Viking Ship Museum
  2. The Fram Museum
  3. Kon-Tiki Museum
  4. Norwegian Maritime Museum
  5. Munch Museum
  6. Natural History Museum
  7. The National Gallery
  8. Nobel Peace Center
  9. National Museum of Art, Architecture and Design
  10. Norwegian Museum of Contemporary Art
  11. Armed Forces Museum
  12. Norway's Resistance Museum
  13. Astrup Fearnley Museum
The city is chock full of museums. I could have gone to more, but most museums in Oslo are closed on Mondays, I went for a fjord cruise which was 15% off with the Oslo Pass, and I wasted quite some time on my last day because I accidentally climbed a mountain. Or hill. I am not sure. But it was taller than Bukit Timah. But more on that later.

Anyway, Oslo Pass! Well worth the money. And for the record, my here's my favourite photo from all my traipsing around museums.
Me and "The Scream" at the National Gallery.

And also here is the foreground against which my selfie was taken.
Yup. Art lovers in deep contemplation on the subject. You gotta give it to them.

#2 Buses in Oslo are good.

Well, for me that is. I like the buses in Singapore BUT. The buses in Norway have screens with the bus route and stop names displayed on them - very useful for suaku tourists like me.
And I know, I know. Public transport fares are much higher there so you have more to spend to tarte up the buses. BUT, still a useful feature to have. Much better than that stupid thing that we used to call "TV Mobile" anyway.
(Via The Smart Local).

Oh and they have very nice reserved areas in the buses. Very large and complete with foldable seats! #justyourregularpublictransportfan.
That being said, transport fares are extremely expensive, making fare evasion very common in Oslo. You would have to be caught for fare evasion once a month to make buying a season pass worth it. Sometimes they do checks. And they always catch someone. Like this person here!
Here, the guy on the left didn't pay his bus fare and had a big argument with the ticket inspector and tried to push past him at the bus stop. But like, ticket inspector had a fellow inspector who the fare evader. Sadly, I don't know if he paid his fine in the end because I got off the bus. And all this talk on expensive fares brings me to my next point...

#3 Oslo is expensive.

So we know that it costs minimally $5+ to take a trip on the train or bus. But do you know how expensive everything else is? On our first day, we chanced upon this generic nondescript Norwegian eatery for dinner.
(Via Kaffistova's FB)
James, "Shall we go in here?" 
Me, "YES IT SAYS REINDEER CAKES. I WILL GET SOME REINDEER CAKES."
And so I did! I was very pleased! And some salmon and a shrimp (James says prawn) sandwich! Guess how much.
SGD $80. And that's after a 20% discount.  Also this pair of Nike Air Max 90 Essentials. I got mine in the States for about SGD $100 in May. In Singapore, it goes for SGD $179, full price. Here's what it goes for in Oslo:
Read: SGD $237.

And that's reasonable for Oslo standards! But I heard that cars and houses are cheaper than Singapore. So I guess you can migrate to Oslo to buy a car and house, and just spend your days living off packets of Prima laksa. Oh and alcohol. Alcohol prices are the same there so you won't feel the pinch when it comes to indulging in alcohol.

#4 There's nothing to do in Asker.

Asker is a zone away from the Oslo city centre. It's 30 minutes by bus (so still free with the Oslo Pass), but phenomenally different in terms of things to do. We had to go to Asker because James' course was being held there, and that was where the hotel was.

So I'm sure it's very nice in the summer. But it's rubbish in the winter. Also everything is in Norwegian and there's no room service. So you have to go out to get your own food if you don't want to eat at the restaurant. (I did not, as I did not want to be the extra wife person always hanging around) So I just sat on the bed trawling my life away on the internet before finding some Filipino guy who said that there was a small mall about 500m away, which just happened not to show up on Google maps, the hotel maps, or on the hotel info sheets which I had translated using Google.
So I immediately got my Google on and found the mall which had a great supermarket! The walk was cold but next to the fjord So you know, pretty view.
I left the hotel about 3 pm, and reached the supermarket about 3:15 pm. I spent about 1 hour wandering around and buying stuff. And when I came out, it was dark.
But I figured I was safe because all the angmohs wouldn't want to attack this Asian with an RBF. And I was hungry. A hungry woman is an angry woman. Also I am Asian so surely I know martial arts. So I figured they would attack someone else over me. Like all the people with big dogs.

Anyway, just so you know, I had myself a wonderful meal. (James had to eat dinner with his important business kakis). I'm serious ok. Look at my wonderful spread.
Here I have gravlaks (raw salmon cured with dill, salt and pepper), ham seasoned with peppercorn, prawn salad, crisp bread, and red wine. JK, it's Coke Light. Doesn't it look delicious?
I know. Proof that anyone can take tasty looking food photos if they have the right camera. In this case, a Google Pixel. Cheers to that.

#5 My phone takes really good photos.

Okay I know, you've heard. But let me just show you what it can do.
Akker Brygge at twilight.

The fjord at sunrise.

Rådhusbrygge (Port of Oslo) at midday in winter.

Akker Brygge at twilight.

It's a great phone. This trip made me fall in love with my phone all over again.

#6 The fog is worse than the haze.

When you compare Oslo to Singapore, that is. Sure it doesn't smell or anything. But it's cold, and wet, and when you're near a body of water, you can barely see your hands. This is Vigeland Park on a nice, clear, summer day.
(Via Huffington Post).

And this is Vigeland Park as I saw it...
 
I think the words you're looking for are "motherfucking creepy".

#7 The switches are weird.

So I know that different countries have different norms and regulations. Some countries drive on the right, other countries which the British took a liking to and decided to claim as their own drive on the left. Some countries use the two pin plug, other countries use the three pin plug. We get it. But omg, in Norway, the switches, they work backwards.
It's so weird. I didn't notice this the previous times Edwina and I were there because we were too busy drinking mulled wine and stuffing our faces with salmon. And also because we didn't stay for the night. #efficientstopover

#8 It's a work in progress.

So it may have different weather conditions and switch conventions, but you know what is so similar about Oslo and Singapore? Everything is under construction. There are cranes and roadworks everywhere!
Cranes and cute little poofy jackets at the Oslo Opera House.

Cranes at Barcode.

Roadworks in the shopping district.

More roadworks in the shopping district.

It's a good sign! That the city is working to improve itself and that I can go back in a few years and still have things to see! James also said that the roadworks is due to the Norwegians installing heating to melt any ice which may form on the road. Also, roadworks reminds me of home. #nostalgic.
(Via Avenue Grande).


Ok and that's all I have to share. Oh wait. I was supposed to tell you how I accidentally climbed a mountain. So I was on the Visit Oslo website and I happened to click into this section for "Culture". Because I am a cultured bitch. *flips hair*.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway I continued reading and read that the rock carvings at Ekeberg were supposed to be one of the highlights.
(Via Visit Oslo).

And I thought they looked quite interesting. So why not. Off I went. Around a lake.
Lake at Middelalderparken (Medival Park).

Across some church ruins.
Ruins of 14th century St. Mary's Church.

Over some railway tracks.
Railway tracks in the Ekeberg neighbourhood.

Past a cemetery.
Cemetery at Gamlebyen Church.

And then, no one told me, and no where was it mentioned, up a fucking hill.
It was pretty at the top.

But also a bit strange. You know the campaign where IKEA turned kids drawings into stuffed toys? 
(Via Bored Panda).

This looked like someone turned a teenage boy's doodle into a sculpture. 
But ok, moving on. So I hunted around for the rock carvings but couldn't find them. They were indicated there on my GPS, map, and everything. Then, I realised that, I had been staring at the rock carvings the whole time. I just didn't notice what they were because they were so unimpressive.
Waste time only. But you know, at least there was a good view (I say to console myself).
Okay and that's all I have this week! Have a good weekend guyssss! Oh and also, enjoy this song.



Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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Jac's Travel Tips for 2016.

December 11, 2016, 8:35 am
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Hey guys!

So I don't know if you have realised this or not, but I have been doing um, quite a fair bit of travelling this year!
And it's been great! I've become quite adept at taking long weekends and tagging along on James' business trips. Anyway! I have found that there's always something to learn from each trip you take. So I've made a list on takeaways from the trips I made this year! And I call it...
(with input from James).

#1 Dubai.

We went to Dubai to celebrate the new year! It was going to be the most epic trip ever! We were going to usher in 2016 with lots of alcohol and the most spectacular of fireworks!
(Via Us Zik).

Then this James checked us into the only dry hotel in Dubai. Meaning it did not serve alcohol. Also do you know how difficult it is to buy alcohol off the shelves in Dubai or go to a bar on New Year's Eve in Dubai without prior reservations or paying extravagant entrance fees? Very.
(Via Giphy).

Also The Address burnt down which meant that the streets were swarming with people, and the new hotel that we had checked in for the night (which served alcohol) almost gave away our room because we had taken more than 3 hours to fight through the throngs of people, figure out how to cross 16 lane roads (all the bridges were closed), and walk across highways.
(Via The Telegraph).

But all worked out in the end.
(Via The Daily Mail).

SO TIP: If you go to Dubai to celebrate the new year, make sure you book a hotel that serves alcohol (very important). And also maybe one that overlooks the Burj Khalifa so that you can watch the fireworks from the hotel instead of fighting with the masses of people who camped there 8 hours before the show started. Oh, it might also be good if know where the fire exits are.

#2 Shanghai.

James went to Shanghai for a business trip in March so I flew over to join him for a long weekend. What? I'm Singaporean! Free hotel, must stay!
(Via Giphy).

So I had to travel to the hotel from the airport alone, which is fine. My Chinese, although deplorable by many senses of the word, is fine when I want to tell people where I want to go. I also have the street smarts. I can like, integrate well with the hoi polloi of any country.
Case in point: me sneaking around Alcatraz like a sneaky prisoner.

Anyway, James had gotten to Shanghai before me. He was at the airport and got directed by an airport official to the taxi counter and took a taxi to his hotel. All was great. Until he went to work and found out that he had paid 3 times the normal amount to get to the city.
(Via Giphy).

SO TIP: If you go to Shanghai (or any Chinese city for that matter), follow the signs that lead to the taxi queue and don't get distracted by airport officials in uniforms and badges who lead you to official counters within the airport. They are scammers who target the gullible-looking people (not me).
Oh and by the way, I'm extremely well versed in ordering Starbucks in Chinese by the way. I have done so in Shanghai, Beijing, Taiwan, and then Shanghai again. Let me know the next time you want to get a Venti Non-Fat Sugar-Free Vanilla Latte in China. I can talk you through it.

#3 Siem Reap.

Neither James nor I had been to Siem Reap, so we thought that we would make the most of our good Friday weekend to take a trip up to see Angkor Wat.
Which is great! But you know getting to know your then-boyfriend's mother on a very packed holiday is not the way to go. Especially when you don't know what to do when your then-boyfriend does something like this:
Okay just take photo.

Also with all moms, she has the uncanny ability to push James' buttons. And it's not really what you want when you are trying to have a nice relaxing holiday with no recovery period before going back to work. So this trip to Siem Reap, I learnt that having a French guy return an ATM card to your boyfriend's mom is NOT something you want to experience.

SO TIP: It's great if your boyfriend's mom can join you for a short holiday, as long as the both of you have some days to recover after that.

#4 California.

This was a trip that we had planned with James' sister and brother (which probably explains why it was longer than 5 days). It was awesome. We went to Six Flags, learnt how to Ski, and did the whole driving down the Pacific Coast in a Mustang thing. Yeah man. The first car I drove for more than 1 km after I passed my driving license was a Ford Mustang.
And we headed to Vegas. We took a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon and it was FREAKING AMAZING.
And then we headed to the Stratosphere and went on all the rides. I had a great time and bought a photo.
All I heard was, "Smile for the camera!" So I smiled. All they, and James especially, heard were the voices in their head saying "PLEASE NO!!!"

SO TIP: When you go to theme parks, get your Singaporean on. Follow all the rules to a T so that your girlfriend won't charge $18 to your credit card to buy a photo to buy herself a license to laugh at you for the rest of your life.

#5 Perth.

So James was in Perth for a week and I joined him for the weekend. I bought a Scoot flight scheduled to land in Perth at 5 pm, just in time to join James for dinner. And then we would leave together on the Sunday afternoon flight.
(Via  We Know Memes).

Then the Scoot flight got delayed and I only manage to land in Perth at like, 9 pm. Not so good when you only have so many hours to spare.
But we still had a really awesome weekend, and managed to get a lot done.
Us at the Pinnacles! Alex aptly captioned it, "Two Asian girls with shiny glasses and two white guys in aviators take a selfie".

Like splashing around in my leather boots. James was not impressed.
SO TIP: Some boots have zips at the side, and water can enter through the zips. So if you want to splash around in the water, recognise that boots are not wellies and you can't go prancing around in puddles without racking up a pretty hefty cleaning bill.

#6 Bintan.

We went to Bintan to celebrate the marriage of the wonderful Darren and Michelle.
James arrived 2.5 hours later than me. No we didn't go separately. It's just we were in the queue to collect our tickets at Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal when James realised he forgot his passport.
SO TIP: Unless you want to spend a very frantic and expensive taxi ride home and back, don't forget your passport. Although as James found, $5 will upgrade your ticket to Emerald class. But if you check in into the same room at Angsana Beach Resort, they for some reason might accidentally decorate your bed by mistake.

#7 Penang.

James, his dad and I went to Penang for a long weekend! It was extremely fun.
Us on Penang Hill.

Anyway, there are lots of good animals in Penang. But the thing about animals like cats, is that they prefer older men ok. Like James' dad.
They lose interest in me very quickly. I think mainly because I tell them that I love them and I want to smuggle them to Singapore. Anyway, I was very upset that the cats preferred James' dad over me. So James brought to me a cat cafe and bought me cat food to bribe the cats with.
James' dad judging me as I exchange cat food for feline attention.

SO TIP: So if you're not a retiree, you have to pay for cat food or no cats will ever fawn over you.

#8 Wales.

James brought me to visit his family in the UK, and took me on a little road trip to Wales while we were there.
We woke up bright and early one morning and decided to climb Pen y Fan, the highest peak in south Wales. Because why not? The weather was great, a little bit of fog, but the forecast said that it would clear within the hour.

So up we went. And it only took us 15 minutes before we were engulfed in a cloud of fog. And that's how we spent the next 3 hours of our climb.
We must have looked like jokers in our jeans and flimsy tops when the locals were all geared up with puffy windbreakers and climbing poles.

SO TIP: Make sure there's not a single cloud in the sky before you attempt any Welsh mountains. Or wear so many layers of clothes that you can barely move your legs. That's my advice to you.

#9 Somewhere in France.

We (when I say we, I mean James) drove to Aix-en-Provence to visit his friends. They were really friendly and good. Also they have a really cute daughter. She's very cheerful and went around collecting snails for me. She's also cuter than my nephew.
Everything was great! Except for the drive there and back. We were using his dad's old Toyota and when I say old, I mean, would-have-been-scraped-a-few-years-back-in-Singapore old. So it didn't go very fast (which still did not stop James from getting a speeding ticket), but it would have been nice to have air con.
(Via Wifflegif).

The south of France is like a FURNACE in the summer. And the car was like a greenhouse in the furnace. The only way around it was to open the windows and let blasts of furnace air blow against your face. Which also means that you can't talk or listen to music while you drive along for 5 hours (which may have James' cunning idea - an excuse to not listen to my ranting or my trashy hip-hop).
I mean 8 hours. There was a 2 hour jam at the tolls. Without aircon.
SO TIP: Make sure your car has air-con if you're driving around du sud de la France. And also get one of the EU IU devices for your car so that you won't be stuck in the tolls for hours.

#10 Rome.

We flew to Rome from France because James felt that it was unfair to pack in two week's worth of back-to-back family visiting. I didn't mind, but you know, who would say no to a Roman holiday?
I love Rome. Rome is great! But sadly, that's the general sentiment amongst people across the gobe. Which can make things rather packed.
Crowd in St Peter's Basilica, spot the Ang Moh James! (James just pointed out that I can't play "Spot the Ang Moh" if everyone is Ang Moh).
Crowd in the Pantheon, spot James!

And queues and crowds can be quite painful. James hates crowds. And the only thing he hates more than crowds is queueing. So this James wanted to just turn up at the Vatican, get tickets, and go in. SIAO. Have you seen the queues at the Vatican?
Luckily there was a shrewd Singaporean who ordered tickets for the both of us.

SO TIP: Buy your tickets in advance here. You pay an additional 4€ per booking in admin charges, but as two guys in front of us at the security check put it, "Best 2€ I've ever spent."

#11 Oslo.

So James headed to Oslo for a business trip and I tagged along because as mentioned earlier, I subscribe to the policy of "free hotel must stay".
(Via Giphy).

It was great! Except for one thing. It was fine when James was going to the main office near Oslo City, but his conference hotel was located in Asker. I met some girls at a pole dancing class and they were like, "Asker? What's there in Asker?!"
(Via Giphy).

Well they are mostly right. I mean there's a lake but it's useless in the winter when there's freezing cold rain blowing down on you. There's also a supermarket a 10 minute walk away but apart from that, really nothing.
Me entertaining myself in Asker.

SO TIP: Don't go to Asker in the winter. Go in the summer when it's nice and the thought of jumping into a lake is more appealing rather than a death wish.

#12 Tokyo.

So I don't know if you heard, but WE'RE GOING TO TOKYO FOR NEW YEAR! We just booked out tickets last week and DAMN are tickets expensive. They were like what? $3k+ for a round trip for the two of us on Cathay Pacific or just $2k from Tokyo and back on Malaysian Airlines - only the business class seats were left. JAL wasn't an option because their flights back to Singapore over the new year are completely sold out!

And I have not enough leave. Yes. I do have limitations when it comes to leave.
(Via Giphy).

Yes, it's true. And I know you're going "Jac, this flight with Air Asia/Jet Start/insert name of other airline is still available and quite reasonable." But NO, you don't understand. We have to take flights with oneworld alliance to get points on our Qatar Airways Privilege Club membership. ANYWAY, I camped online like on all ALL the oneworld alliance websites hoping that someone with an economy class ticket would cancel and finally, SOMEONE DID.
AND WE BOOKED IT!! And I was so excited that we were going to Tokyo until I saw this on Hotels.com.
There was literally no vacancy left in hotels in the city. Like, REALLY. Well, I found one on my phone, and a rather good one that is. But by the time we reached home it was gone. So now we're staying at two hotels over the period of our vacation.

SO TIP: Unless you like the thrill of last minute bargain hunting and trawling though twenty million travel sites, book your tickets for the new year at least 3 months in advance.

So I've come to the end of my post! If you have cool tips for celebrating New Year in Tokyo, please let me know! And here's a nice song about sexy beaches. Take it as a thank you in advance.


Have a good week ahead guys!
❤ Jac.
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James' Jibber-Jabber: Adulting.

December 12, 2016, 9:04 pm
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Hi guys!

So before I go into my next edition of James' Jibber-Jabber, I have an announcement to make: I HAVE BLUE HAIR!
Yes. Sunday nights be like, us pausing the movie so that I can take selfies of my blue hair and James can finish filing papers.

Check out my stunning blue hair. Yes. I can say such things now because I have blue hair and it is stunning. The same sadly, cannot be said about my covert selfie skills. Those are not as stunning.
But I digress. On to the main portion of the blog post featuring...
So I've been wanting to say this for a while, but I didn't want to until everything was settled but, WE BOUGHT A HOUSE. Okay, I mean, it's an apartment. But you know, you still call it a house in Singapore. Ang Mohs who are not James are very picky on the terminology. House is a landed property, and anything that is a unit above the ground is called an apartment. Anyway, we bought an apartment and we got the keys on Sunday!
There's a lot of work that goes into buying a house, if you don't already know. It's not like when you decide that you're going to buy a tank top and kind of saunter into Forever 21 to pick the one you want. It requires a little more effort, and takes a little bit longer than that. But more on that another time!

So a week before we got the keys, we were having a conversation which went something like this
Jac, "I'M SO EXCITED WE ARE GOING TO JAPAN FOR THE NEW YEAR."
James, "We're getting a house in a few days and you are excited about Japan?!"
Which is fine. But this is what happened a few days later...
James, "I'M SO EXCITED THE NEW STAR WARS IS COMING OUT."
Jac, "We're getting a new house in a few days and you are excited about Star Wars?"
Priorities guys, priorities. We have got to start learning this adulting thing.


And just when I thought I might have cracked the secret on being a cool kid. (Yes, the secret is blue hair).

Cheers!
❤ Jac.


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#adulting: How to buy a house.

December 21, 2016, 12:11 am
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Hello guys!

So it's been a really exciting year so far, I witnessed a hotel get burnt to a crisp, moved in with my then bf, got my driving license, got engaged, got married, got blue hair, and most recently, BOUGHT A HOUSE.
Oh actually, the most recent exciting thing in my life is the real Christmas tree that is in my living room but that's a story for another time. Also yes, we're married but our wedding will be next year. Yes, I'm a very secretive person. More details in a future post.
(Photo by Smithankyou).

Anyway, I just wanted to say, buying a house is a complicated issue okay. As I was saying previously, it's not like going out to buy some clothes. You can't just saunter into Forever 21, spend 5 minutes of flipping through the racks and then deciding to buy a tank top that's even cheaper than a Venti Non-Fat Sugar-Free Vanilla Latte (key to my heart). Buying a house requires a little more time and effort than that. So today, I will answer some questions on BUYING A HOUSE.
(Photo also by Smithankyou).

#1 Where do I find a house to buy?

So you can use online platforms like PropertyGuru and 99.co to view properties that are on sale. You
can filter them by size, budget, location, and number of bathrooms.
Yes, you can also input ridiculous values to see how the other half lives.

And then try to arrange appointments to view the apartments that you fancy. James and I got an agent. Sure there are fees involved, but the fees are borne by the seller, not the buyer. And we were the buyers so why not?
Also there are many fake listings and duplicate listings on these portals, so it's good if you can get an agent to help you sort them out and help you to set up viewings. I had originally contacted Ena to help me out with that, but we later decided to go with an agent recommended by James' company.

We fell in love with the first apartment we viewed! We viewed a few others after that, but we just decided nothing compared to the first. SO WE GOT IT. With a mortgage of course.

#2 What is a mortgage?

So you've heard of the term mortgage and you know it's somewhat related to buying a house. And also you played Monopoly as a kid. We all know that the mortgage for Park Lane and Mayfair (or Nassim Road and Queen Astrid Park, depending on which version you're playing) is the highest. 
(Via Imgur. Also wtf since when did Nassim Road and Queen Astrid Park morph into Sentosa Cove and Marina Bay?!)

But what is mortgage? It's when people like me want to buy a house but do not have immediate funds to pay for the whole house. So, you put a deposit down for the house, and ask the bank to lend you the rest of the money. And then you will pay the bank back over the next 20-30 years, depending on the plan you choose. 
(Via Giphy).

So you know, mortgage is essentially the sum you borrow from the bank to pay for your house. Also called a mortgage loan, home loan, or housing loan. Or HDB loan if you borrow from HDB.

Oh, and if you suddenly lose your ability to pay the money back to the bank, the bank can seize your house from you. Because you borrow money to pay for your house, if you don't pay the money, then, no more house lor.

#3 Must I get a mortgage?

Well, houses are expensive in Singapore. So unless you have a lot of money in the bank so much so that you can pay for the house in full, I would say yes, you need a mortgage.
(Via Funny Junk).

#4 How much money do I need?

Okay assuming you take a home loan like how James and I did, you need to cough up 20% of the value of your house, not inclusive of stamp duty. Here's how your 20% is broken down - 
Upfront
1% - Pay the owner Option to Purchase (OTP). The OTP will give the buyer exclusive rights to buy the property within the next 14 days. 
Read: Pay 1% for OTP which is the tissue paper packet chope of the property world.

Within 14 days
4% - Exercise the OTP to confirm that you are buying the house.

3 - 4 months
15% - Pay the rest of the deposit. 

#5 How much money can I borrow?

It depends on a variety of factors namely, both your ages, incomes, and the duration you plan to pay your loan. Or your age, income and duration if you intend to buy a house by yourself. I don't know how they calculate it exactly, but you can just enter the figures into the OCBC Home Loan Calculator here and the OCBC website will do the calculations for you.
Also under MAS regulations, banks can only lend you a maximum of 80% of your property value, so make sure you can pay 20% upfront.

#6 Are all home loans the same?

No, of course not. Home loans are all different. Some come with a $1,000 worth of TANGS vouchers, and some come with Dyson fans. But that's really not what you should be concerned about. You can easily buy the free gifts yourself.
(Via Giphy).

What you should be concerned with is the type of mortgages available:
(Via CPF Board's FB page).

So there's fixed rate and there's floating/variable rate. Which one should you get? Unless you are extremely knowledgeable on the matter, the best thing to do is to speak to a home loan specialist when you need to take up a loan because what the bank can offer you is dependent on too many factors. From your credit scores, to current market conditions, to what promos the bank is currently running. Basically, get someone to give you sound advice, which was what we did with OCBC.
If situations change, you can always remortgage in 2 years. If you decide that you made the wrong decision within a few months, well, tough luck. So it's important to talk to a mortgage specialist who is not slimy, and will recommend the products best suited for you.

FYI, we went with OCBC's 36 month fixed deposit mortgage, meaning that the interest for our mortgage will be pegged to whatever interest OCBC is giving to customers for putting their money into fixed deposit accounts. Other popular packages include the SIBOR dependent mortgages (which we were considering), variable interest rates, and short term fixed interest rates (which we did not consider at all).
(Via OCBC).

#7 What is SIBOR?

That's what I asked the OCBC team during my first meeting with them. They told me that it's Singapore Interbank Offered Rate, also pronounced as "psy-bor". I, the classy Singaporean, pronounced it as "see-bor" with a Hokkien accent. Don't do that.
What you might imagine a "Si-Bor" to look like.

Anyhow, SIBOR stands for Singapore Interbank Offered Rate. It's the daily rate based on the interest rates at which banks offer to lend funds to other banks in the Singapore interbank market. So it's very transparent because everyone knows what the rate is, and it's the same across all banks in Singapore.

#8 What's this stamp duty then?

Stamp duty is property tax you pay to the government when buying your house. Because you are buying, the tax you pay is called, "Buyer's Stamp Duty" and abbreviated as "BSD". When you see it amongst words like mortgage, material and maintenance, sometimes your brain will read it as "BDSM". Totally normal. (I think).

Anyway the buyers stamp duty is:
So, 3% of the cost of your house, assuming that your house costs more than $360,000.

Also if you happen to be a PR or a foreigner, you have to pay something called the Additional Buyer's Stamp Duty (ABSD). The ABSD for PRs is 5% and the ABSD for foreigners is 15%. And this is on top of your 3% BSD. 
So right, many people (agents included), have told me that James and I would have to pay that 15% ABSD if we were to buy a property. And I was outraged. Like, I am potentially helping you increase the TFR of the population, how dare you take away my citizen rights and make me pay 15% extra?!

Well, turns out these people don't know their stuff. Resourceful Jac trawled though the IRAS site and found this:
This means if you are a Singapore citizen, you don't have to pay ABSD for the purchase of your first home no matter who you marry. Some people. Anyhow tell me I have to pay 15% extra.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank OCBC for enabling James and I to become home owners! We're one step closer to becoming real adults now! 
Or maybe not.

And now I'll like to leave you with this good video by Diddy – Dirty Money and Skylar Grey, because you know, I HAVE A HOME THAT I OWN THAT I CAN GO TO NOW. 


Cheers! 
❤ Jac.
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