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HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Hello from Tokyo)

January 1, 2017, 3:12 pm
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Hey guys!

So I'm a bit later but...
Hello from Tokyo! So I just wanted to make a quick blog post before we get back and I get depressed over the end of my holiday and give up on life. As you can see, I am approaching 2017 with the best kind of attitude there is.

Anyway! We flew to Tokyo to usher in the New Year and it was awesome. We went for the countdown street party at Shibuya Crossing, before joining the locals to visit the Meiji Shrine. Take a look!
Pano of crowd at Shibuya Crossing.
Crowd management at the countdown party.
There was even a Coca-Cola photobooth set up. Talk about doing it right! (Context: I love Coke Light).
#コークであけおめ
Hello 2017!
Crowds flocking to the Meiji Shrine.
Lanterns set up at the Meiji Shrine for the New Year.
A selfie of me and James at the Meiji Shrine because NPNT.

And that's how we spent our New Year! I'll make a more detailed post when I'm back in Singapore, and also the "Tips on going on many holidays" which I promised robotgrannies aeons ago (no, have not forgotten)! But just before I end, I need to share this song with you. Because, Tokyo.


Meanwhile, enjoy the rest of your holiday and MAY YOU HAVE A GREAT YEAR AHEAD!

Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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#adulting: How to go on holiday(s).

January 8, 2017, 7:55 am
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Hey guys!

So for quite some time, roboteatsgrannies, and a few others have been asking me this same question, "How do you go on so many holidays?" And the answer is simple -
(Via Giphy).

No not really. But I promised her that I'd make a blog post revealing all my sneaky holiday secrets before 2016 ended. However, as it turns out, I'm terrible at keeping my word (no I will not make any new year resolutions, go away).

Anyway, the new year has just begun and what better way to start it than packing it full of holiday plans! So here goes...

#1 Use up your leave.

So this is the most common question I get asked - "Jac, how come you have so much leave to go on holidays?" And then I ask them how many days of leave they have left and they go "2 weeks", "9 days", "11 days" or whatever.
And there's your problem. It's not that you don't have leave, it's that you're not using your leave! If you don't use up your leave, you are never going to go on many holidays. Why are you keeping your leave there? Does it collect interest in the leave bank? Do you get more leave the longer you store it and not use it? No right?
(Via Giphy).

Use your stupid leave. Go on holiday.

#2 Use your long weekends.

A few times a year, we get blessed with wonderful periods known as "long weekends". The Good Friday weekend is usually a safe long weekend bet. When this happens, GO ON HOLIDAY. It's a long weekend, why shouldn't you go and enjoy yourself?
Here's how I spent my long weekends in 2016:
I used them all except for the CNY weekend and Christmas because you know, #familytime. And you should too!

#3 Go on short holidays.

So I always tell people to go on short getaways during the long weekend and some people ask me, "3 days shiok meh?" And then they tell me how they need to take their time, take it easy, take it slow etc etc etc.
(Via Giphy).

EXCUSES. You can have a perfectly fulfilling time during short getaways.

I went to Perth. I was supposed to take the noon flight on Friday and meet James in Perth at 5 pm, and fly back on Sunday evening. My flight was delayed by 3.5 hours. I reached at 9 pm. I had a fantastic time, and I would do it again.
And many say that they can't go to Europe for a short break because they need at least two weeks there. Well, that's accurate if you want to go to multiple cities. Who says you need like 2 weeks in Norway? I went to Oslo for 5 days and I had a great time!
Anyway, if you are stubborn and insist on only going on long holidays then I'm sorry you are limited to only 1 or 2 holidays per year. Stop whining and quit asking me how to do it.

#4 Stop inviting the whole world on your holidays.

Yes, I get it. You want many people to share your hotel room or airbnb apartment because economies of scale, and strength in numbers. It'll be super fun!
(Via Giphy).

Wrong. More people = more hassle. Have you ever tried to organise dinner for a large group of people? It's so much hassle. Everyone either can't make it at the same time, wants to eat something different, and there's always this odd one out who refuses to participate in what the rest of the group is doing.
Keeping in mind the difficulties in looking for a common 2 hour slot for dinner with a group of friends, can you tell me what the probability of finding dates that everyone is free to go overseas for a short trip?
(Via Giphy).

Zero the answer is zero.

And even if you do happen to find dates that everyone is comfortable with, you end up having to ask everyone for their opinions on where to go, accommodation, flight times. STOP. There's so much hassle involved and eventually everyone just gives up and no one goes anywhere. Just up and go by yourself.
Or you can bring a butler or two along.

My point is, holidays in big groups are meant for like, I don't know, families who have to support their relative who works in a tour agency.

#5 Cling on like a koala.

Some people (not me) have the luxury of going overseas for work. When you meet someone like that, this is what you must do -
(Via Imgur).

CLING TO THEM LIKE A KOALA. This is how I managed on some of the most exciting trips last year - by attaching myself to James like a limpet.
James and I in Perth after his meetings had ended.
James and I in Shanghai after his workshop.
#selfiesofjacwithjamesworkinginthebackground in Oslo.

Of course it's not feasible to do it all the time (I missed out on a few of his trips around Asia and one to FRANCEEEE) but you know, I'm always working hard to accompany him on his trips. Because you know, I am the light of his life and his trips will be more fulfilling with me around. Also I post photos of him slaving away, which profiles him as an exemplary worker to all his colleagues on Facebook.
Okay guys! I have come to the end of my post. Sorry it's so late. Hope you have a fulfilling year of travel in 2017! Meanwhile, let me see if I can find a way to tag along on James' next trip to Bangkok.
(Via The Gloss).

Meanwhile, enjoy this old time favourite from Sean Kingston, and may you go on many holidays this year!



Cheers! 
❤ Jac.
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New Year's in Tokyo!

January 17, 2017, 7:37 am
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Hello guys!

So, James and I went on a short trip to Tokyo to celebrate the New Year! It was awesome! I was extremely excited.
Oops wrong photo. I meant to put this.
Anyway, Tokyo was great! I don't know what it's usually like during the non-new year periods, but from what I can tell, no one really knows what it's like over the new year. So I have compiled some tips on what you can expect, where you can go, and what you can do if you decide to go to Tokyo to usher in the new year. So here goes...

#1 Go to Shibuya Crossing for the countdown.

We were initially looking for a bar to drink in to celebrate new year because in Dubai last year, we could not find alcohol. At all. Also there was a big fiasco because all the roads were closed, a hotel burnt down, and there were 2 million people crowded in a space of what seemed to me like the padang.
Bottleneck at a Metro station 3 stops away from the Burj Khalifa.

So this year, we thought we should ensure our new year alcohol supply by chilling out in a bar. Then James got this bright idea of hanging out at the Shibuya Crossing. You know, just in case there was a  party there. We did some research (in our hotel room 3 hours before) and found that THERE WAS A STREET PARTY! Shibuya was to be pedestrianised for the new year countdown!
(The Japan Times: "Shibuya’s scramble crossing to go vehicle-free for New Year’s Eve", The Asahi Shimbun: "Tightest security ever for Shibuya New Year’s after Berlin attack")

So down we headed. It was awesome!
It wasn't too crowded so you could still move in and out of the crossing at 11:30, but it was packed enough so that there was a good atmosphere going.
Hachiko in his new year garb.
Coca-Cola sponsored by-the-second countdown and us at one of the Coca-Cola photobooths.
Crowd about 10 minutes before midnight.
All the poor policemen on New Year's Eve countdown duty in Shibuya.
It's 2017!
Some people jump around and wave their flags while we focus on taking selfies.

Anyway it was loads of fun! If you're looking for an affordable new year party to go to, this is the one! It's just crowded enough and it's free of charge! The only problem is that they don't let you drink alcohol. But you know...no one really cared.
Except for us. After we saw the signs, we downed our beers at supersonic speed. James regretted it shortly after when he realised that rapid beer consumption stresses your bladder.

#2 Follow the crowds to visit a shrine.

So you'd think that there's nothing to do once the whole countdown finishes but you're wrong! You can join the throngs of Japanese heading to one of the many shrines in Tokyo for their first shrine visit of the year, or "hatsumode".
Stream of people entering the Meiji Shrine.
Lanterns all lit up for Hatsumode at the Meiji Shrine.
Scouts standing guard around a fire and also us at the Meiji Shrine because NPNT.

Also, if you may think it's very crowded and not worth a visit, you may want to reconsider. The bottleneck only affects you if you want to visit the shrine itself. If you're just intending to walk around and soak up the atmosphere, crowds aren't really a problem at all.

Besides! You get to see the cool lanterns on display and all the street food stalls set up around the shrine to cater to hungry shrine visitors that aren't usually there.
Crowds at the Japanese equivalent of a "pasar malam" at the Sensō-ji shrine.
FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD at the Sensō-ji shrine.

So you know, even if you're not interested in the cultural aspect of visiting a shrine, the foodie in you may want to check it out. Once a year only leh. Is that the stirring of the kiasu Singaporean in you I hear?

#3 Stop looking for fireworks in Tokyo.

So maybe you want to watch some fireworks to ring in the new year. Well, sorry to burst your bubble but Tokyo's not the place to go - unless you go to Disneyland/Disneysea of course.
(Via New Year's Eve 2017).

And I know you may see photos and articles such as the one below from dodgy travel site NewYearsEveTokyo2017, but if you click on the individual links, all point to hotels on Agoda, which is extremely misleading and bad.
So you know, as your mummy said, don't trust everything you see on the internet (apart from me, of course).

#4 Watch the sunset over Mount Fuji.

I'm sorry if you were looking forward to watch New Year fireworks in Tokyo, but you know, there's still plenty more to see! LIKE THE LAST SUNSET OF THE YEAR! Which was what James and I went to do!
Over Mount Fuji no less. I know I exaggerate a lot, all the time, in excess. BUT. Watching the sunset over Mount Fuji was nothing short of magical. (And now you know I am not exaggerating because since when do I use such fluffy terms? Magical. Ugh)

Anyway, a good place to watch the sunset over Mount Fuji is the Tokyo Skytree.
The Tokyo Skytree, Sumida River,  and the aptly named Golden Turd.

But if you want to do this, it's imperative that you book your tickets to the Skytree in advance. This lets you skip past the Vatican-like queues.

Any surcharges that you need to pay is worth it.
Us after our  massive queue jump!

I know what you're thinking - the queue doesn't look that bad. Yes. But there are two other halls before this that are just packed full of people clamouring to get up to the top of the Skytree to watch the sunset. I heard people complain about being stuck in the queue for 5 hours. MAD. And queueing doesn't even guarantee you a view of the sunset. What if you get in only after the sun has set? That would be heartbreaking!
Throngs of people pushing to take photos of the last sunset of 2016. (There were many times more people in the queue!)
James found a good window to plant himself at.

I booked tickets for the 4:30 pm slot in anticipation for the 4:38 pm sunset, which I of course, Googled before booking.
You have to pay an extra I-can't-remember-how-much to get the sunset slot, but it's worth it! Watching the sky darken and the city lights come on around Tokyo was amazing.
Can you see Mount Fuji, the moon, and the Tokyo Tower?

Thank you friend for advising me to buy the tickets in advance. I promise you, just paying money to pass the sheer number of people in the queue was fulfilling enough.

#5 Make use of the sales.

So apparently, and we found this out completely by accident, that the 2nd of January is apparently the civilised, more gracious version of Black Friday in Japan. We saw snaking queues forming in front of numerous shops even before they opened.
We decided to step into Adidas to take a look.
And quickly stepped out again. The discounts were really good, but crowds in shops aren't our thing. Whatever can be bought on sale in Japan, can be bought online during CNY sales, Valentine's Day sales, Fathers' Day sales, Mothers' Day sales, etc. I love consumerism.
(Via Giphy).

But my disdain for queues shouldn't stop you from making use of the good deals during Japan's New Year sale! May you shop till you drop! As I said, I love consumerism.

Okay and I've come to the end of my list of tips. Oh you may want to check out the opening and closing hours of everything over the new year period, or your bf/husband will be forced to take you back to Japan again so that you can see everything that you missed earlier. Sometimes you must have your cake and eat it.
Or ice cream. I'm flexible. Anyway, I've got to go but here's a song for you!



Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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#adulting: How to make decisions.

January 23, 2017, 10:12 am
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Hi guys!

Sorry I know I've not been updating as regularly as I used to, but HAIYAH, I've been busy with renovations and packing and being married.
Yeah being an adult is tough guys, it really is. Within the short span of 3 months bought a house, took over a lease, started renovations and soon we'll be moving in.
#currentlivingsituation.
Anyway, in the midst of our renovations, packing, and basically adulting, James and I decided to take a break from it all and went out on Saturday to indulge in a fine evening of raclette with potatoes, salad, bread, and a selection of ham. This was washed down with a bottle of wine.
After our substantial dinner of cheese and wine, we decided that it would be a goo idea to wander over to Clarke Quay to claim a belated birthday present from my sister - tickets on the GMax.
You'd think that the trip was completely frivolous, but it wasn't. We had a very lucid and in-depth conversion which led to us reaffirming how we essentially function.
Which would be okay, but then this was followed by...
Yes, it's nice to know that we make decisions based upon impulses driven by our consumption of alcohol.

Also, surprisingly, going on the GMax after stuffing ourselves silly with raclette isn't as bad as an idea as we imagined it to be. Sure it was confusing at times, but I attribute that more to my circumstances than to our alcohol consumption.
And just in case you are wondering - here's how we looked like during the ride - 
It was great fun! Not as scary as the Big Shot on the Stratosphere in Vegas of course. This was how we looked for that ride:
(Refer to James' expression, mine isn't very telling).

Anyway, fellow Singaporeans, I urge you to try the GMax, Asia's highest reverse bungee and 4th highest bungee. It's not as thrilling as an actual jump, but it's really relaxing and fun. You spend most of your time bobbing up and down and enjoying the scenery. Really everything you would like your life to be.
So you know, maybe the trick that adults use to make decisions is really impulse, cheese, and alcohol. And here's a song about being all young and impulsive. Which I am not. I am responsible and mature, yes I am.



Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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The Unwittingly Pantang.

January 27, 2017, 5:07 pm
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Hello guys!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, 恭喜發財 AND THE LIKE. I just thought I would do a quick update because I'm one post behind and you can't owe things over Chinese New Year apparently - money, items, Terrexes etc.
(Read more on MothershipSG).

So James and I are not the most auspicious of couples. The only information that we know about ourselves pertaining to superstition is probably our horoscope and zodiac signs. We don't know anything else, nor do we bother to check. If anything, most of what we do are flukes. Like how we chanced across this wonderful sign in Japan.
What do you say when the bus doesn't come? Gofukubashi!

But it so happens that our life decisions have been unintentionally pantang - we never planned for any of our life events to be auspicious, but they turn out quite so. Let me elaborate:

We ROMed on the 8th of August last year, which is supposedly a very auspicious date because 8/8.
Which is all well and good, but James actually chose the date because 8/8/16 is mathematically satisfying. Yes. That's what happens when you marry an engineer.

Also before Chinese New Year, it's customary to like, clean your house and rid it of all the bad and evil things. I have never done this. Until this year.
I have cleaned and packed my house. So thoroughly guys. You don't even know. But we didn't intentionally decide to spring clean for Chinese New Year, it comes with part and parcel of moving house and getting rid of all the dust from the renovations. And guys, there was lots of dust.
Also, if you're super pantang, I heard that it's good to buy new things for CNY. New things for new and good beginnings for the new year. Most broke people, myself included, usually stick to clothes. Not because I am pantang, but because I really like clothes and any reason to buy more is always welcome.
But this year, we're moving into a new house for CNY! The purchase of the house was completed in end-November, and we took over the unit mid-December. Renovation works started only in end-December and everything (except for minor bits here and there) was completed on Tuesday because all the workers are going on a 2 week break for CNY.

Just in time for us to move into our new place. HOW UNINTENTIONALLY PANTANG IS THAT? Let's just hope that our sticking to such superstitious followings translates to good luck for the new year and forever!
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, hope you guys have a great Chinese New Year. May you be able to gorge on as much bak kwa and pineapple tarts as possible but not get fat.

新年快乐!
❤ Jac.


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#adulting: How to host a Chinese New Year party.

February 2, 2017, 8:29 am
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Hello guys!

Okay so this year Ang Moh James and I hosted my family for Chinese New Year. I mean like, new year, new house, why not right? It was awesome, mostly because we were wonderful hosts. So if you're wondering how to be great hosts like James and I for Chinese New Year, you're in luck! Because I now know how to throw an awesome Chinese New Year bash!
This was last year. We forgot to take a couple photo at our wonderful bash as we were having too much fun. TMD. I must remember to take a photo before the 15 days of CNY are up.

#1 Entertainment.

You have to find a way to entertain your guests. In many houses, it's all about gambling or the television. Very passé and boring, unlike what James and I did! James and I provided world class entertainment - we arranged the boxes from our move into a maze/fort for my nephew to run around in!
And when I said "we", I was mainly referring to James. But you know, marriage is a team effort or so I've head. So his achievements are my achievements and vice versa. Quick everyone! Congratulate James the wonderful job I did of painting my nails, watching TV and eating crisps at the same time!

And yes, I smudged a nail. But only one.
Or James did. Because my downfall is also his. But I digress. As I was saying, we provided world great entertainment in the form of box structures for my nephew!

Like this wall to protect our borders from terrorists.
And also a bridge to build friendships across borders.
Please note that the bridge on the right is wider than the bridge on the left. You see, like friendships, bridges have to be constantly improved upon so that they are stronger and more effective.

We didn't do this for ourselves of course. It was for the benefit of our guests. Mostly for my nephew of course. He absolutely loved it.

#2 Food.

Also because Chinese New Year is largely about eating, James and I went into great lengths to plan what to serve on Chinese New Year. My sister and brother-in-law did the traditional thing of having a load of dishes for the reunion dinner on Chinese New Year's Eve.
Not to be outdone, James and I similarly whipped up a grand selection of treat for my family.
I know, I know. You wish you were part of our family so that you would have been able to enjoy our culinary prowess.

#3 Tradition.

And of course, Chinese New Year is really about tradition and culture. So James and I worked very hard to incorporate some Chinese traditions into the festivities.
My nephew wasn't very interested. But when he grows up, he will mature and learn to appreciate all the long-standing Chinese tradition and culture. Luckily, the pineapple wasn't a waste because James very willingly rolled a pineapple into the house with me.


Yes, my voice is weird and strange in the video. I sound like a donkey with a flu who is high on cocaine. I acknowledge that. But then again, it would be unfair for me to be perfect.

So yes. In conclusion, I must admit that James and I have quite a long way to go before we can become effective hosts. But you know, we do have the excuse that we moved in 2 days before Chinese New Year, and our cooker hob and hood have yet to be connected and installed because all the contractors are still on their CNY break. But it's always good to set expectations low so that no one will ever be disappointed for future gatherings.
(Via Giphy).

Unlike my nails. I am disappointed by my nails. I had such high hopes for my nails at the beginning of the post. But now, instead of just one,  I have  James has managed to smudge 7 of them. But that's what you get when you lion dance your way through the house I guess.

Cheers,
❤ Jac.



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How to grow hair and turn into a werewolf.

February 8, 2017, 9:16 am
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Hello guys!

OMG. I'm so happy that I finally have a post that is not related to my #adulting life. Truly, being an adult is a tedious thing. You don't get any time off and you have to do responsible stuff all the time. Like choosing taps. WTF I thought taps were all the same. Suddenly I have to choose them?
Wouldn't have mattered what taps we chose/didn't choose anyway. We're currently living the #notaplife.

But I digress, This post is about a totally different issue. It is about ageing and hair loss, or hair gain rather. You know, I thought it would be timely in the light of Beauty and the Beast and stuff. And before you dismiss my hair gain story, I promise you, it's good. Anyway, here goes - Jac teaches you...
(Or how to grow hair).

So I have never been that girl with the luscious slutty hair. You know the kind. The thick and silky kind that falls into it's messy place after a head flip. OMG. I've always wanted to have slutty hair.
(Via Giphy).

Sadly, I do not have such hair. Instead I have not so thick hair which I arrange strategically so that I don't look like I'm balding. It's why I pin my hair up - to ensure that each strand of hair is secured in it's own strategic place to create the illusion that I have lots of hair.
And topped off with a pair of shades to hide any possible bald patches!

And my hair has always been like this. So I complained to Ang Moh James a couple of times about my lack of hair, but he didn't really take notice. And I don't blame him, really. I mean, sometimes I say I am fat, other times I say my hair is thin. Like, what gives right?

Until, one day when I went to James' hair salon to wait for him to finish his hair cut. His hairdresser saw me, and immediately went, "Girl, you have very little hair." Thanks ah. Nice to meet you also.
(Via The Odyssey Online).

Then the hairdresser started giving me lots of advice on how to grow more hair on my head - cut my hair, stop dying it, go for treatment...dude, I have heard this all before. I was born with this amount of hair on my head. Long or short, doesn't matter.
(Via Giphy).

After hearing these very blunt comments, James started taking my hair woes seriously and did lots of research for solutions to thicken my hair. He combed (haha) through beauty forums, review sites and medical portals and found this product called Rogaine, or Regaine as they sell it in Singapore. All the sites and forums had marvellous reviews of the product, which boasted that results in 3 months.

So we went to get 3 months' supply of Regaine, which is essentially equivalent to 3 bottles. This was very useful because Watsons' had a bundle discount for 3 bottles - $199 instead of $300 or something similar.
James said to apply once in the morning, one in the evening. Okay I could do that.

Okay but let's move away from December and move on to February festivities. I had just touched up my wonderful blue locks before Chinese New Year and had just come out of the shower when I noticed that my forehead had dark splotches on it. Damn it, my hair dye had stained my forehead. So I got out some makeup remover to wipe it off. And it didn't come off. 4 cotton pads later, I gave up. TMD, what kind of powerful hair dye do they use in Next?!
Then I looked closely at my dark whiteboard marker like stains on my forehead and realised that GOOD LORD, I HAD PATCHES OF HAIR SPROUTING OUT OF MY FOREHEAD. I kid you not. GPGT.
CAN YOU SEE IT?! The advancing hairline and the patch of hair growth over my eyebrow? I'm not a werewolf. I promise you that this wasn't here last month. These patches are here because I apply my facial products and makeup without washing my hands after applying Regaine, inadvertently smearing Regaine over my temples and taking contouring to another level. You apply bronzer to appear sculpted? I grow hair to achieve that effect bitches.
So yes, while many people can claim that hair growth products work due to experience, discerning readers will always be sceptical for a plethora of reasons - placebo, paid advertorials, delusional. But I tell you, I did not fucking grow hair on my forehead by intention. I spend a fortune getting myself IPL-ed, why would I want to grow forehead hair?!

Also this discovery also explains why my previous brow threading session at Browhaus hurt like a bitch. I have grown so much more hair. Gah. Also James says that my hair looks darker because my scalp isn't so obvious now. A good sign I guess.
The most recent photo of the top of my head, taken over our drunken weekend.

Also before you go running off to buy Regaine to fill in your bald patches, James (my researcher) cautioned that Regaine only works on existing hair follicles by helping to strengthen the existing hairs and encouraging them to grow. So like if you are completely bald, then maybe you can't be so hopeful on results. But you know, you can always try. Just you know, try to put all the product on your head and not wipe them all over the rest of your face like I did.

Anyway, here's a video for you. You know, in the spirit of hairy beasts and beauties.

Happy hair growing guys!
❤ Jac.
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James' Jibber-Jabber: Pick-up lines.

February 13, 2017, 7:34 pm
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Hey guys!

Happy Valentine's Day! So I have some very exciting stuff to blog about, like my hen's party (yes I had one!) and what I got James for Valentine's Day, but first let me introduce you to the next installment of James' Jibber-Jabber.
So I figure that a lot of guys out there have trouble getting girls, but no worries, let me give you some advice on how to win girls over based on what I have observed from James. Who is now technically married with a wife (we're at the stage between ROM and wedding, so I'm not sure what you call it).

And you must remember, James is the guy who, when we were talking about spraying down the glass in our bathroom to make it water-repellent, said this...
Anyway, I figured out how James gets girls. Or used to get girls and eventually got me (he will never get another girl). You see, James is a very smooth talker. I mean, this man can sell ice to eskimos, tanning oil to Black people, and processed meat to pretentious yoga-loving gluten-free eco-friendly spiritual freaks.
(Via someecards).

Let me give you an example. James was in Korea for work last week, and he got to take the high-speed rail from Seoul to Ulsan, which en-route to Busan. So yes, James took the train to Busan.
(Via Officially K Music).

And I was so jealous! Like, first James gets to go overseas while I slog my life away in Singapore. And second, he got to take the high speed rail! I WANT TO TAKE A HIGH SPEED RAIL TOO!!

So, James took a picture of his train and sent it to me.
Which is very good. But what followed was even better...
Come on girls, who wouldn't fall for a pick up line like that? How smooth is my boyfriend/fiancé/husband?! 

So guys, you want to get some girls for Valentine's evening, get creative and start coming up with good pick-up lines!
(Photo by Smith).

And now I'll leave you with a romantic song.


She was a freaky kind of girl 
Kept up with current events from all around the world 
More specifically one event 
The time Osama Bin Laden got shot in the head

Go forth and conquer!
❤ Jac.
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Valentine's.

February 15, 2017, 8:32 pm
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Hello guys!

So I'm sure you are a bit sceptical because I'm posting about Valentine's Day. Different people have very different opinions on Valentine's Day. Some righteous people think that it's a scam to get you to buy things, and others feel that it's a romantic celebration of love.
(Via Gurl).

Ugh. Whatever. My stand is, who cares about the rationale behind holidays? I am supportive of all occasions where I can potentially receive presents.

Yes, I'm mature like that. Anyway, so this is what James and I did on Valentine's Day. We both woke up early and did the very traditional thing of making toasts to our relationship.
What? We're not alcoholics, it would not be appropriate to down champagne on an empty stomach just before going to work.

Also, speaking of work, I know lots of people surprise others with flower deliveries on Valentine's Day. But come on guys, flowers are very passé. So I sent James a surprise balloon delivery at work.
I think it is a wonderful surprise which really brightened up James' work day and work desk. I knew that James would be really excited to bring the balloons home, so I met him after work to capture his delight. Just look at the intense joy on his face.
Oops, wrong photo. He was actually very pleased with the balloons. It just so happened that this photo was taken when I asked to borrow his balloons to pose for an atas photo of me walking my "pets".
It was difficult, but eventually it was done.
Anyway, we walked to the bus stop with not that much trouble (for me, at least). I mean we did run into the regional HR and finance managers in James' company on the way there, but I'm sure their glances towards us were more of jealousy than judgement.
I think James was happiest when were taking the bus home.
Especially when we had to make our way off the bus.
Anyway guys, I hope you had a great Valentine's Day! Also I think that I'm running out of embarrassing gift ideas for James after my pet balloon bouquet and my Stormtrooper incident. So anyone has any bright ideas please feel free to contribute :)

Cheers,
❤ Jac.
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What you need for a Hen's Party!

February 23, 2017, 10:58 pm
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Hi guys!

So you might know that, like many other people, I'm married but not really. It's that iffy time between your ROM and your actual wedding where you know, you don't know if you're married or not. Well, legally you are, but socially you are not because you haven't had your wedding and you don't want other people's stupid advice to get the wedding of their dreams.
(Via Crushable).

Anyway! I'm supposed to do a blog post on how to get married by request of roboteatsgrannies, so I thought I'd cover everything like how it's chronologically supposed to be. I've already covered the my horrendous dating life pretty thoroughly up till the point I met James, who turned things around for me. And also proposed to me which makes me suspect that he might have brain damage, but that's a separate story altogether. So what typically happens after the engagement is THE HEN'S PARTY!

And Jac will share what you need in order to have to have one.

#1 A bride.

So I don't understand why, but James decided to spend the rest of his life with me. I assume it's because of my charming personality.
Anyhow, James fell in love with me, decided that he wanted to be with me and my delightful self for the rest of his life, and proposed! So getting someone to propose to you is one challenge you have to overcome before you can have a Hen's Party. 

#2 A good friend.

Yeah so I have no idea why, but I do have friends. And extremely good friends! Like Marilyn. Marilyn's great. She's now based in Australia but one day, out of the blue...
Yes! Once she knew that she was coming to Singapore for a few days, Marilyn offered me her party planning expertise and free nights to organise a Hen's Night for me! Guys, friendship does not get better than this.

And Ma's an awesome party planner. She asked me for a guest list with email addresses and, that's really all I had to do. She gave great advice too! Like...
Yes, you need someone to knock some sense into your head and tell you you're crazy if you even think of venturing down the wrong road. You also need someone with a good track record. Ten years ago, Marilyn threw me an awesome 18th birthday party. Because I mentioned that I wanted a McDonald's party.
And it was awesome. Just like my bachelorette party! And friends like that don't come easy. So you want an awesome party, you better start screening your friends to make sure there's someone up to the job.

#3 More good friends.

Of course, although it is perfectly acceptable to have a bachelorette party with just you and that one good friend, it might look a bit sad. So what you need is more good friends to join you!
And I had Edwina, Praveena, Pamy, Mag, and Carrie to join me! Omg, I was extremely touched and excited ok. I did not know that I had this many good friends who would turn up for my stuff, feed me alcohol and make me run around and complete silly tasks! I thought the only people who would turn up for my gatherings were guys I bullied into listening to me. #sadbuttrue
And that's basically all you need to have a Hen's Party really - a good girl friend and more good girl friends. But in case you want to have a good time, here's more...

#4 Props.

Marilyn dressed me up for the night. I had a sash, a maid's outfit, and A TIARA! I WAS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING PRINCESS MAID Y'ALL.
Yes, a humble and contented maid who worked in a castle and never thought that her life would come to anything more. But one day, prince came across her and was swept away by her charm and beauty and married her and now she's a princess. WITH A TIARA.
(Via Giphy).

If you don't know how empowering they are, you should get one. It makes you.

#5 A Pole Dancing Class.

My hen's party started out with a pole dancing class courtesy of Marilyn's organisation and The Brass Barre. And it was very fun and easy to follow - look how in sync we were!
They also provided us with shots of vodka at the end it was great. 

#6 A Stripper.

GUYS. I GOT A STRIPPER. MARILYN ORDERED ME A STRIPPER.
There he is! Can you see him? He turned up in an FBI outfit and um started doing this stripper dance. And ALL I DID WAS LAUGH AWKWARDLY AND TRY TO GET MY HANDS OUT OF THE WAY BUT HE WAS EVERYWHERE.
(Via Giphy).

Sorry, no photos. But my friends had a wonderful time. They said he was an awesome dancer. NOT THAT I COULD TELL BECAUSE I WAS TRYING NOT TO ACCIDENTALLY TOUCH HIS JUNK. But I am so proud of having a stripper ok. I have never had had a stripper before. I had a great stripper. Marilyn is very good for going through the effort of getting me a stripper.
Please, I can only imagine. True friendship right here. Oh, by the way girls, you can get your stripper from Wicked Favors!
Which is coincidentally run by one of our secondary school friends. Sadly, we only found out after Mag started posting photos of our night, after Marilyn had paid for it. So we lost out on the friends and family discount. HAHA.

Also Marilyn told me the Ang Moh strippers cost $100 more than the local strippers. But she got me a Chinese one because you know, I've got my Ang Moh fix sorted for the rest of my life.

#7 Alcohol.

So while I was being given an extremely vigorous lap dance, I asked my stripper if I was the most awkward lap that he has ever danced with. And he said, in many words, "Yes." IN MY DEFENCE, I wasn't drunk and hadn't had any alcohol yet. It's very hard to be slutty and rub your hands over people when you're not inebriated.
(Via news.com.au).

Yeah Miley, I feel you. Alcohol is great! It gets everyone in the right mood and also helps you get through all the dares that your friends will inevitably make you do, including getting many many random guys in Loof to carry you.
Sorry, you don't get to see those photos, but this is a photo of what I think an orgasmic face looks like based on my Google image search.
But yes, lots of alcohol is good. And we had plenty!
(Not a comprehensive collage, but you get the point).

And that was how my Hen's Party went! It was awesome, lots of fun, and you know, for a person who wasn't even planning on having a Hen's Night, I think I did extremely well!
Thank you Prav, Ed, Carrie, Mag, Pamy for coming, and of course for Ma for organising! ❤ you all!

Cheers,
❤ Jac.
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#Adulting: A Definition.

March 2, 2017, 11:36 am
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Hello guys!

So many of you may know I'm like, mature and grown up now. I talk about old people things and can give you how-to guides on anything from buying a house to how to maximise your leave at work. Not because I'm an expert at doing stuff like this of course. But because James and I were suddenly immersed in such situations and had to find a way of slowly clawing our way out.
(Via Giphy).

Anyhow, maybe you think you've got the adulting thing all sorted out. You are now responsible and you know how to do lots of stuff that you previously didn't. I now know how to say "master bedroom" and "water filter" in Chinese. I would tell you that I have also learnt how to say "paint" in contractor slang, but that apparently is up for debate.
But I digress! Anyway, have you really thought about what adulting really means? Maybe. But if you haven't, here! I have broken it down for you!

#1 Having your own priorities.

When I lived with my parents, I wasn't allowed to do many things. For example. I had to prioritise my mother's aesthetic inclinations over my physical fitness. Hence, I had to have a bed in my room instead of a pole to pole dance.
Circa 2014: Me pretending to understand the World Cup on my bed.

But that's okay. Now that I have my own house where my opinion is worth 50% (at least) instead of being worth 5% (at most), I can look after my physical fitness. And look? How unintrusive does my pole look? You barely notice it among the mountain boxes. I don't know what my mother was talking about when she said that it would mess up the aesthetics of the room.
#fitgirl #fitfam #fitspo #healthyliving

Another thing that I now prioritise is my drink preferences over my mother's concerns over the sustainability of my lifestyle. I now can have a cabinet full of Coke Light instead of having just one bottle stashed away in my room.
All is well and good. Well, aside from having to share my Coke Light at times. But I'll manage. After all, one must sometimes make sacrifices for the love of one's life.

#2 Having purchasing power.

So when I was living with my mother, all my purchases were made with her in mind.
"Yes I'll buy the cream cake over the bag of potato chips."
"Yes I would rather dabao pasta than ice cream for dinner."
"No I won't buy the cushion because you don't like it."
And then suddenly, my mummy isn't there. I CAN BUY ALL THE THINGS THAT I WANTED TO BUY. Like a giant stormtrooper balloon.
And some animal balloons.
And and, get this, A SELFIE TOASTER. THAT TOASTS SELFIES OF OUR FACES.
Yeah, it's great. I used to have to restrict my purchases to food and clothes, and it was terrible. But now, the retail world is my oyster. I CAN BUY WHATEVER I WANT. (And give my purchase to James as presents so that he cannot scold me for buying nonsense. #winning) Hello slowing economy, Jac and her new found purchasing power is here to save the day!

#3 Making independent fashion choices.

So my mother, she's very big on personal safety. And because I am the beacon which lights up her life, she wants no harm to come to me. And this has led to her having conservative opinions on what I should wear out. (Not that it stopped me, but you know). For example, she does not like me to wear shirts with statements emblazoned on the front because they are seen as confrontational and girl gangs may beat me up. So here are some examples of my fashion choices that she frowns upon.
Yes, those are items that can get me beaten up in Singapore apparently. So I had to secretly wear them out. The other kind of clothing that my mother didn't like me to wear were  tops which showed off my tattoos. My mother's reasoning was that I might attract the wrong kind of guy. I thought that this reason was more sound than the girl gang reason, so I never really wore crop tops out of the house.

However! Now that I am married ROM-ed to James, my mother can no longer say that my tattoos will attract the wrong kind of guys because most of the time I am out with the very manly James who is capable of scaring off any other guys with his brutish looks and bulging muscles. So whenever I go out with James now I try to make up for lost crop top time.
So this freedom in fashion is great! But also I think since my mother has seen that I have more or less settled down, she has become more liberal in judgements, and is approving of my clothes that "only young people can wear".

So what I think adulting is, is when kids like me have money and freedom. So they do things that they want to do, which may not be the most important or pressing issues in the grand scheme of things, but matter a lot to them because being responsible sucks. For example, James' and my first order of business after we moved into our apartment was to set up our gin cabinet.
Did we have other stuff to do? Yes. Did we care? Yes, but we cared more about gin because #priorities. And I know, if you have rented your own apartment for a while you may think that you've got adulting all sorted. But NO. You should see how excited James get when it comes to knocking holes into the wall and "buying furniture that is not made of chip board".

So in conclusion, adulting is basically the stage of life when you can do all the things that you want to do because no one is around to say no. And the price you pay is that it comes with some responsibilities. But who cares because they can always wait for another day and you have better things to do like go on the G-Max like adulting adults.
Okay and here's a great song to cap the adulting post off.

Make it on your own, but we don't have to grow up. 
We can stay forever young.

And also a gif.
(Via Giphy).

TGIF and have a good weekend guys!
❤ Jac.
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Your Youth Sucks (but life gets better).

March 8, 2017, 1:12 pm
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Hello guys!

So I'm very old now. I have a house, and a husband (or almost husband), and most recently, a long service award. Yeah, I have been working for the same employer for more than 5 years. I'm, THAT OLD.
(Via Metro).

And with age comes wisdom. Wisdom you only realise you have once you come across old photos of yourself when cleaning out your old room in your mother's house.
(Still not done, but I'm working on it!)

So wise with age Jac will share some wisdom that she has garnered over the years, because she has many of those now. And she'll share in the form of a letter to her past self. I'M KIDDING. This isn't the Lake House or whatever that time travelling show was.

Anyway, Jac will teach you, in a form a a blog post, how to grow up. And just so you know, I may have started life looking like this, but trust me, everything just went down from there.

#1 Nerdy is okay.

And everyone needs to know this. WTF, if I grew up looking like my teenage self you know what I would look like? LIKE THIS.
Yeah. I don't know why i decided it was a good idea to flatten my hair on my head with water before taking the photo, and omg everything is just wrong. But teenagers around the world have faith, because you will grow out of your geeky nerdy self. One day, you will decide to wear the lenses that you have had since 11 because your degree is 1,100 per eye. You will decide that actually, your hair is supposed to frame your face and not enhance its size. You will also one day learn how to smile properly and also how to draw your eyebrows.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Later on in life, you will even discover the wonders of lasik and eyebrow embroidery/rejuvenation. But that's another story for another time. The trick is, no matter how you look like, everyone is supposed to look ugly as a teenager. It's a chance for you to grow and learn and decide how you do not want to look in the future.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, nerdy is okay. It's fine. This means that even though I think I didn't study very hard, teachers were under the impression I studied hard and wrote things like "Jacqueline is a diligent student" in my report card. WTF diligent was, I did not know. But looking back, my teachers probably just looked at me and were like "How bad can she be?" and, according to one of my ex-schoolmates who went back to visit my secondary school, thought it would be apt for me to be part of a wall wrap.
Oh you probably can't tell which one is me. On the extreme left. No I did not go for any plastic surgery.

#2 Fat is also okay.

Yeah yeah you think I am lying when I say I was fat. Or you think I was fat cute kid. No okay. I was borderline almost go into TAF club in secondary school. WHICH I ADMIT, is not exactly fat. But you judge for yourself.
There was also this once in JC when a guy friend voluntarily tried to guess my weight. Why did he want to do that? He was a teenager. Guys are stupid, and teenagers make bad choices. So teenage guys are usually bad news. Anyway, idiot here guessed that I was 63 kg when I was like, 50+kg. I cannot remember the exact number but you know,  girls and weight, very volatile. I was so angry with him, myself, and the world. (But mostly him la).
(Via Giphy).

I always thought I was fat. I used to look at other girls and think "OMG I wish my legs were like hers". And it wasn't like I didn't exercise. I used to do TONS of exercise. I ran a lot (my 2.4 km timing was the fastest in my class!), and swam a lot (I was a lifeguard!), and I did taekwondo. But tmd, at the end of the day I was still twice the size of other girls (or the girls I compared myself to at least, like my this friend here).
And I had friends who were skinnier than me who thought they were fat and went to Expressions for slimming treatments (I was a poor person with rich friends), went on the Atkins' Diet (it was 2005), and didn't eat. Okay not anorexic, but hardly ate anything at meals. I also had an anorexic schoolmate and she was crazy skinny and it was seriously scary. And I just sat there and felt depressed about life.
Also I have no photos of me sitting down and looking emo because emo photography wasn't cool a decade ago. But here is me making out with a dummy. Like a real dummy, not one of my ex-es.

Okay so anyway fast forward to now, I've lost about 10 kg. And to be very honest, I've thought I was fat until fairly recently. I've told everyone (and have been told at times) that I'm fat for most of my life. But I have reached the point where I have stopped telling people I'm fat because I realised that actually not considered fat and I should not be annoying. Like you know how some people say that they are fat and you want to slap them? I cannot be one of those people.
(Via Giphy).

Oh yeah and you might be interested to know how I lost 10 kg. I count calories. I know you health gurus and fitness freaks think it's not the way to go, and what's important is wholesome meals, macros, nutrients, balance, and fuckthisshit. Counting calories works for me okay?! Leave me alone and let me count my miserable calories by my unhealthy self. I'm happy and fine, don't bother trying to preach your whatever organic lifestyle to me. I don't care. Zero calorie aspartame-pumped Coke Light forever.
(Photo by Smithankyou).

Also I really think what helped me lose that extra bit of weight was pole dancing. I used to do all these sweaty activities but I still a little bit bigger than I wanted to be. Pole dancing was what made me leaner and helped me shed that last bit of extra weight off. It's very good (but you must stick to it and not quit halfway).
(Via Buzzfeed).

Anyway yes. Sometimes I still feel fat but I keep it to myself. Oh wait, I lie. I tell James. And then run away in case he wants to slap me (in a non-domestic violence kind of way). And then I buy eat some chocolate to make myself feel better. (Kit-Kat Chunky - 245 kcal).

#3 Bad complexion is also okay.

So now my complexion is like not bad. I mean it is not SKII advertisement quality, but I can leave the house without makeup and no one will think I'm a monster from another dimension. Just maybe a crazed sleep-deprived maniac. Anyway, this was what my complexion used to look like.
Yeah like crap right? Google photos pulled out a photo from 2013 and I was like, WTF IS THIS?! I forgot how bad my complexion used to be. But bad complexion is okay. You will grow out of it. Even if it takes more than 5 years for you to grow out of it.
(Via The Berry).

And to help yourself grow out of it, wash your face in the morning and at night, and find good brands of face products to slap onto your face and use them religiously. (If you want to know, I'm using a whole arsenal of Kiehl's products). Don't use all sorts of cheap makeup to cover it up. Use good quality makeup that won't make you break out into even more spots. I know some people say don't wear makeup when you have a pimple, but come on. Most of us are quite vain.
(Via Giphy).

Also I've found a good dermatologist whom I visit on a monthly basis now. I've been going to him for the past 2 years. I was previously going to this other place for like 3 years, but as you can tell from my above selfie, it was not very good.

Oh and also breaking up with bad boyfriends in your life does wonders for your complexion and also your life. I would know.

#4 Stupid guys are okay.

If you ignore them, and are not dating them, that is. So, girls never forget who called them fat, or insinuated that they are fat. We were learning fireman lifts for lifeguards and someone who had previously lifted Marilyn asked what my weight was, and I said, "Around Marilyn's weight". WHICH IS TRUE. We were, and still are around the same size. I didn't know her exact weight, and I didn't know my exact weight, so that was a legit answer.
Us in 2012.
Us in 2004.

But this FUCKER from halfway across the pool shouted, "CLOSE TO MARILYN? YOU DON'T LIE. YOU ARE MUCH HEAVIER." I was 18, and he was #deadtome.
(Via Imgur).

And that's what guys do - speak without thinking. Most of them grow out of it. Some don't. But that's okay. Because you can stalk them on Facebook with your friends and laugh at how loser they are compared to you. And trust me, they're usually the weirdest ones.
(Via Giphy).

Also remember the guy who thought I was 63 kg? He's one of my very good friends! Guys change. Or they just learn how to keep their mouths shut. Either way. Stupid guys are okay. Just don't date them and you'll be fine.

#5 Everything will be okay.

Sometimes life is terrible and you feel like you want to commit suicide. And that is okay as long as you don't actually go and commit suicide. Eat many burgers, down lots of alcohol, and get on with it.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Most of the time, life will sort itself out and everything will be okay! It's really not that bad. (Unless it is, then maybe you should talk to the police/therapist/doctor). Most of the time, everything should turn out fine if you use your brains and refrain from doing anything stupid.
(Via Playbuzz).

But I just want to say this - you don't need to be part of some grand fitness/wellness/health/spiritual campaign to feel like you belong somewhere, nor do you need a a hoard of people asking you to hashtag some movement to feel like you are going somewhere in life. (But if it genuinely makes you feel better then by all means). 
(Via Giphy).

Just do what makes sense to you and stick to it. You don't need all that psuedo-inspirational crap to make you feel better about yourself. And really, all you need to feel like you belong is a giant beanbag, and all you need to feel like you are going somewhere is a mermaid blanket.
Or that's what I feel at least. #truestory.

Anyway, I'll now leave you with this great song by Havana Brown (it's been a while!)


Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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The Stag Do.

March 22, 2017, 10:07 am
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Hey guys!

Sorry for the lack of updates last week but you know, I was busy prancing around in Hong Kong.
So yes! I had a pretty good weekend. Going on holiday is always good. 

Anyway, I also had a pretty awesome time the weekend before that. You see, not to be outdone by my girl friends, my guy friends threw me a Stag Do! 
And from my previous post, you guys should already know how to throw a Bachelorette Party. So here's what you need for a Stag Do.

#1 Guys.

I know, I know. Guys are stupid, guys are dumb. But guys can be awesome at times. They give you lifts home, tell you you're pretty, buy you drinks, and also help you carry stuff.
Most importantly, if you're nice to them, they throw you a Stag Do when you're getting married!

Andrew, owner of The Belljar, offered to throw me a Stag Do when he heard that I was getting married. I didn't think that I'd be having a Hen's Party at that time, and Andrew wouldn't hear of me not having a party of some kind. So he came up with the idea of a Stag Do to celebrate all the fun times I've had with the guys.
And here are my guys clockwise from bottom left - Nick, Chris, Aaron, Andrew, and Johannes. 

#2 A Theme.

Okay I don't know what usually goes down at Stag Dos because you know, I'm a girl and this is probably the first and only Stag Do that I will ever attend in my life. But it seems to me that guys like themes. Girls like themes too. But our themes are usually, "black with a splash of pink". Which is fine. We like flexibility. But guys take it to a whole new level. Meet my suited up boyband otherwise known as "WONG DIRECTION".
Plus some penis props and minus Andrew who had a 3 am flight to catch, and also Chris' jacket which got lost in transition.

#3 A ride.

Guys love their cars. I mean, I also love cars. But the cars I love the best are the blue cars with green lights on top driven by drivers called "uncle".  Guys are different. They are a bit more discerning when it comes to choosing cars they like.
Me and a car I found in Jo's house many years ago and very unclassily demanded that I take a photo with it.
Me and another of Jo's cars which we took to a wedding. When I say we, I mean Jo drove me as I folded his pocket square using instructions from Wikihow.

So the guys got me a very good ride to chauffeur me around in. They got me, A PARTY BUS! And Jo wanted to make sure I liked the idea before he booked it (the weirdo - who wouldn't want a party bus?). So after getting my consent, he Googled "party bus Singapore" and called a guy. They were ready to pick us up in 15 minutes!
It was really fun! There was Spotify and we could choose all the trashy music that we wanted! The driver told us there wasn't alcohol available since it was after 10:30, but you know, that came as more of a plus point for me, the person who would be consuming the most alcohol of them all.
Looks like an underground bling KTV pub. I approve.

#4 Guy Stuff.

So when you have a Stag Do, it's essential that you do guy stuff. And wow did we do such manly stuff. The guys taught me how to smoke cigars! It was very exciting.
Cool photo by Chris.

And also very confusing. "Do not inhale it into your lungs. You must just keep puffing in an out". It took me and a lot of coaching from the guys. But I got it eventually. AND EVEN MANAGED TO LOOK COOL WHILE AT IT.
Photos and a lot of art direction by Nick T and Johannes. Also please note the Coke Zero that Andrew very kindly supplied me with ♥♥♥.

So, I can't remember what cigars I had that night (in my defence, I had a lot to drink), but the smoking the cigars made the Glenfarclas whisky taste smoother and sweeter. It's a very strange thing. I don't understand it. But if you want you can go to The Belljar to find out more. They have lots of whisky, a cigar room and everything you might want (including har cheong siew yoke, wtf).
(Via thebelljar.sg).

Anyway, yes. Guys do manly macho things during Stag Nights. So even though you see girls dancing in their 7 inch heels at their Hen's Nights, the only girls who dance in 7 inch heels at Stag Dos are strippers.

#5 Alcohol.

Like a Hen's Night, A Stag Do involves some serious alcohol guzzling. For that, the guys took me to Chupitos! One of my favourite bars. On our second date there, me and James finished off one of every shot on the menu. We were very proud.
Also known as the day that James found out that girls who do not care that much about expensive food can still be expensive dates.

And the guys somehow seemed to know that I can consume quite a lot of alcohol. So on top of the many normal shots, penis shots, and fire in a skull shots...
The guys also got me the Little Man Fat Boy. Yeah yeah the name is cute, and so is the picture.
But the drink is truly intimidating. I don't actually know what is inside, but you basically finish a shot, drink a shot in a glass, and a shot in a jug. So you know, a lot of alcohol. AND I DID IT.
I am motherfucking Xena.

#6 More Guy Stuff.

So at a regular Stag Do, you get like a bunch of all guys. No girls and their oestrogen. Just guys and testosterone. And I guess my presence kind of diluted the concentration of testosterone in the air. But that's okay. I got help from the bartender to man up the Stag Do.
(Via Giphy).

So sometimes it pays to be the only girl with so many guys buying you drinks. The bartender will be like "Eh you all cannot make her drink by herself la," convince them to buy a round of shots for themselves while I rest from my Little Man Fat Boy, and offer to upgrade their normal shots to something else. And this was the something else he whipped up. As Chris put it...
Nope. Totally serious.

As you can tell, the guys didn't really know what to do with penises that were not their own.
But they are smart guys. They figured out eventually.
What?! As I said in a previous post on chocolate covered banana penises, guys need manly stuff. And what can possibly be manlier than penises? And as everyone know, a Stag Do needs lots and lots of guy stuff. I think the 4 penis drinks made up for my lack of testosterone quite nicely.

#7 Swag.

After drinking my entire body's weight worth of alcohol, we went to Capital! Yeah I also did not know where Capital was. Let me tell you. It's a club inside this place.
And it's been AGES since we've been to Zouk together. Zouk was where I met Aaron and Nick. Good times. Anyway Capital! It was extremely fun and we didn't have to queue. I had a great time walking past all the people in the queue. It is nice to see that Nick has not lost his touch at getting us into swanky clubs. 
Also in line with the theme of the night, Capital also happens to be an ultra-luxurious whisky and cigar bar. Not that I know what I drank after Jo got us all jagerbombs, but you know, it's nice to know that we could have continued our whisky and cigar binge after leaving The Belljar.
Anyway, I would like to thank my AWESOME Wong Direction guys for planning the night for me and for facilitating my drunken escapades. You guys rock! And I'm sorry girls, they are all taken. Except Chris (I think). He is single and hot. Girls, go for him! You may apply through me.

And here's a song to commemorate my Stag Do!

Cheers!
❤ Jac.
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#Adulting: The Next-Gen Auntie.

March 30, 2017, 11:24 am
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Hey guys!

So as you know, I'm old. I have a house, a husband, a long service award, I sleep a lot, and I also can talk about my horrific teenage years. Oh also, I tend to repeat myself a lot. I'M THAT OLD.
Nothing new - just me sleeping in the middle of the day.

Also with age comes auntism (pronounced ahn-tee-ee-zm). And I'm quite auntie these days. But WAIT. Before you start imagining me with curled orangey hair and wearing some obiang flowery tent and haggling with the chicken seller over the price of this not so fresh piece of chicken, I need to clarify, that I'm not that kind of auntie.
(Via Toggle).

Instead, I represent a new breed of aunties that will revolutionise the world. I don't take tupperwares to dabao all the leftover food from the buffet line, I don't go to Genting Highlands regularly to make use of the free stays that come with my casino membership, and I don't fight with other aunties over the freshest piece of fish in the market.

I like my food and shopping delivered to me, I don't like going to the same city repeatedly just to earn free stays, and I would rather hide in my bed than go out to fight over the what's left in the market. However, I, like all the other aunties out there, share the exact same traits - competitive, kiasu, savvy when it comes to finding cheap alternative for things I want. I am, THE NEXT-GEN AUNTIE.
And let me tell you what that entails.

#1 Delivery.

Okay guys, I know what you are thinking. "How can you be auntie if you insist on delivery?" I am a next-gen auntie. Aunties of the next generation, like myself, do not want to fight for the freshest items in the market, and are too poor to hire a maid who is skilled in the art of choosing vegetables. Enter Redmart and Honestbee. Now! There are people to choose your groceries for you! 
(Via Redmart).

And the food is guaranteed fresh for a certain number of days or you get your money back. It's great! 
(Via Honestbee).

The difference between Redmart and Honestbee is that Redmart packs your stuff at its warehouse while Honestbee gets personal shoppers to go down to NTUC to buy your items on the spot. So you will get all the items you order off Redmart, but you may not get all the items you order from Honestbee. 

And you know what Redmart has that Honestbee doesn't? This cool feature which tells you how much weight you've saved yourself from carrying! I really appreciate it ok!
Most of this is Coke Light.

However, Honestbee shoppers do recommend substitutes for items that are out of stock, so it's still good and more convenient than going down to the shops by yourself. It's especially good for getting important items that you missed out on an earlier trip.

Also the lead time needed for Honestbee is much shorter. Like yesterday, I was too lazy to go down and buy vegetables to cook. So I got Honestbee to do it for me. My stuff came in an hour! 
(Via Giphy).

Fresh food without the effort? Auntie-ism at it's best. "But Jac, you must still pay for concierge and delivery." Well guys, this is where COUPONING comes in.

#2 Couponing. 

Have you watched extreme couponing? It's insane. You watch these people pile tonnes of stuff into your shopping cart and miraculously, pay peanuts for like thousands of dollars worth of goods at the checkout counter.
(Via Giphy).

I can't do this. I don't have the patience nor the strength to cart $1000 worth of groceries around. But I recognise the savings that you can get with coupons. So before I check out my cart from Amazon, Forever 21, Lazada, Shopbop, ASOS, Book Depository, Redmart, Honestbee, Vpost or what have you, I spend a good 15 minutes Googling for promotional codes that I can possibly use with my purchase. And I try them all too.
(Via Metro).

What?! I can save loads in the long run. I am also even auntie enough to split my shipments from Vpost so as not in incur GST, and use my 15% coupon on the more expensive shipment. And why, yes. I buy lots of things from the US. My most recent shipment contained a laundry basket, magnetic window cleaners and a cotton bud dispenser because my cotton buds did not seem to be organised very well.
And if you were wondering, shipments above SGD$400 are liable for GST. So wisen up!

#3 Credit Cards

So yes, I know lots of aunties have credit cards. This bank gives you a free luggage bag, that one also gives you a free luggage bag, so you sign up for both and get 2 free luggage bags because you can. You know the drill. The more luggage bags the better.
But next-gen aunties do not see the need for accumulating so many luggage cases. Us next-gen aunties are a bit more discerning in our luggage choices. Who wants a boring grey case when you can get a black or navy blue not at all boring looking cases?
James and our extremely stylish travel cases.

The new-age auntie doesn't sign up for credit cards to get the free gifts. Instead she signs up for the cards that the most rebates and discounts that benefit her. So instead of casting a wide net by having tonnes of credit cards and hoping to snag deals every time you pass a shop, us new-age aunties get credit cards based on which cards can get us the most privileges at the places we frequent. For example, my very auntie POSB Everyday card gets me additional rebates at Watsons' and sometimes also discount fares for Cathay Pacific (oneworld alliance, so I still get points with Qatar).
(Via Cathay Pacific).

Recently, James got a OCBC 365 card because we eat at Paradise Group restaurants up to twice a week (Canton Paradise for dim sum and The Legend of Xiao Long Bao for, well, XLB) and they have good rebates for OCBC card members, who can also use the $10 return voucher for every $50 spent.
(Via OCBC).

And also we have an OCBC 360 account which gives you an additional 0.5% interest per annum when you spend at least $500 on your credit card per month. So yes, James now has an additional credit card because he is unable to escape my auntiness.

Oh an by the way, you may want to visit Maybank or ANZ in case you are interested in gettting free luggage cases.

#4 Frequent Flyer miles.

Speaking of luggages bags and travelling, I am very auntie and supportive when it comes to frequent flyer programmes. Ever since James introduced me to Qatar's Privilege Club programme, I've been hooked. I now refuse to fly any airline that doesn't allow me to collect miles with Qatar (unless the flights are free of course, then different story).
Our efforts are paying off! We managed to upgrade ourselves to business class on our flights back from Norway last year, and at the end of the month, we are flying to Greece on round trip business class tickets booked purely with miles (and $200 for airport tax). We're very excited!
So now, all our long haul flights are made on Qatar, and the rest are made on oneworld alliance members like Malaysian Airlines or Cathay. If we can help it. James sometimes flies Star Alliance for work so we're using his miles to attend our friends' wedding in Melbourne next week. Damn it - all the miles we could have gotten if we fly by Qantas (oneworld). #firstworldproblems

So yes, unlike aunties who go with tour packages and the cheapest airline there is, the next-gen auntie chooses an airline and sticks with it in order to enjoy the maximum benefits that come with the airline's frequent flyer programme.

#5 Loyalty programmes.

On the topic of getting additional perks, I am signed on to many of loyalty programmes - not because I want to get free one-time sign up offers, but because of the benefits I get from my continued support of the programmes. Unlike regular aunties who just cast a wide net and sign up for all loyalty programmes in hopes of getting lots of freebies, next-gen aunties are more discerning in signing up for programmes because we don't like getting spam.
(Via Giphy).

My favourite programme at the moment is the Hotels.com Rewards Club. They have a virtual stamp card which works exactly like the ones you used to be able to find at bubble tea outlets.
And it works exactly the same way. Every 10 nights you book on Hotels.com gets you a free night worth the average price of the 10 nights collected! It's great. We started using it last September and we've already redeemed 2 nights, one of which was used on Hotel Gracery in Shinjuku, Tokyo!
You also get access to secret prices for hotels, which is handy when you want to save money. There are also different membership tiers, and the higher your tier, the better the secret prices, and customer service. James and I are currently Silver members and so we have a special customer service number to call if we need help with our bookings. It's great! (Yes James, I have called them several times). We need 5 more nights to get to Gold, and next-gen auntie me can't wait.
(Via Giphy).

Another loyalty programme that I subscribe to is Club La Senza.
You get 10% off year round and 50% off regular prices during your birthday month. IT'S GREAT. Do you know how expensive bras are? And do you know how wonderful it is to buy like armfuls of bras and hear, "That will be $150 ma'am." Fuck, only $150? Let me buy 20 more.
(Via Giphy).

And the last loyalty programme that I am a fan of is the TANGS membership. You can get 12% rebate on your purchases on certain days of the year (on a quarterly basis if my calculations are correct), and I use this time to stock up on makeup and skincare products and more recently, household items. James and I used the rebates I got to get a simplehuman bin. It's very nice and shiny. It's great!
(Via Design Directory).

Yes so anyway, limited but effective selection of loyalty programmes is the next-gen auntie's way to go.

#6 Cashback.

This is a very auntie thing that I discovered very recently, but it's really effective in helping you get cash rebates as you shop online.
(Via Shopback).

It's called ShopBack! So if you make purchases via the the links to online merchants on ShopBack, ShopBack rewards you with a percentage of your purchase in CASH. It's really good! How it works is that ShopBack gets commission for listing these merchants on their website, and you get a portion of this commission if you click through from the ShopBack website. I started in October last year and I've already earned just over $200!
It's quite easy to earn rebates (for me) because I do lots of online shopping and ShopBack has most of my go to stores including Forever 21, ASOS, Nike, and Lazada. Just not Redmart, Amazon, and Etsy from what I remember offhand.

if you plan it right. ShopBack has days when you get additional cashback, or if you use VISA cards.
And the payout process is very simple and no hassle at all! You just enter your bank details and the money gets transferred straight into you account. AND, the minimum amount for pay out is $10. Which is very easily achievable, considering you get $5 upon signing up and $5 for every friend you refer.
USE MY REFERRAL LINK HERE TO HELP ME EARN $5 PLEASE!
https://www.shopback.sg/?raf=AQVjH9 

The best cashback I've gotten so far is $27 from a Hotels.com booking. I also got $8 from a booking with Qatar. You see how I got all my auntie programmes all stack up? #SWAG.
(Via Giphy).

#7 Bonus Interest.

So the last thing that I'm very auntie about is getting bonus interest with our savings account. James and I are on the OCBC 360 savings account which gives us a base interest rate of 0.05%. BUT, if you play it right your bank account can earn up to 3.25% per annum.
(Via OCBC).

So James and I are trying to play our cards right so that we can get AS MUCH INTEREST AS POSSIBLE. We want to make it such that the only reason we need to work so that our salary will get us an additional 1.2% per annum with OCBC (and of course job fulfilment, meaning to life and all that crap).
(Via Giphy).

Okay guys! So I've come to the end of my list. And in pure next-gen auntie style, please use my referral links to get rebates and/or cash if you are interested in using Honestbee, Shopback, Ubereats (code: eats-jacquelinew3009ue), or Deliveroo ok!

And now I will leave you with a good song about next-gen aunties.


Actually I wanted to put Meja's All 'Bout the Money or ABBA's Money, Money, Money, but I decided not to be so old. TGIF guys!

Cheers,
❤ Jac.

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The #AngMohAsian Wedding Party.

April 11, 2017, 11:42 am
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Hey guys!

Sorry for being two blog posts behind, but I have been seriously busy. Since I last posted I have:
  • Had a wedding party
  • Changed my job 
  • Went to Melbourne for a wedding (not ours)
Us at the Sandringham Yacht Club for Alex and Celia's wedding, the only wedding that I've ever been allowed to wear shades at.

So my tardiness in putting up blog posts is legit! Anyway, let me elaborate item one on my list of causes for my tardiness. As I was explaining some time earlier, James and I got legally married or "solemnised" last year, but it was a casual affair below our apartment with like, 7.5 people if you include my nephew.
I heard it's a thing to do an OOTD of your wedding. So on Jac - Forever 21 white lace tank dress $19, and 5 hair pins, model's own. On James - shirt and trousers from Malaysia.

Because James' family wasn't able to attend our legal paperwork ceremony, we thought we would hold a separate one overseas, where both our families would fly down to. But we thought hey! We might as well hold our dream wedding in Singapore and get all our friends down.

And so we did. And here's how we did it.

#1 Type of party.

We are old. And in our years of growing up, we have attended our fair share of weddings. Some were fun, others were not so. But you know, all of them had more or less the same idea behind them - make it a bit fancy, feed people with good food.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Well, James and I, we are not foodies. We are alcoholics. We don't like to dress up, we like to dress down. I, especially, like to walk around in what I understand is considered as "super-short-shorts". I can't help it - I buy whatever length of shorts they stock in Forever 21. Forever 21 is life.
(Via Engadget).

So that's what James and I decided to do! Throw a wedding party that played to our strengths - alcohol and casual clothes. I mean, we clearly do it so well.

#2 Location.

From what we understand, weddings are usually held at fancy places like a fancy hotel or a fancy restaurant. Well, we didn't want our wedding party to be too unconventional, so we held it at Hopscotch, a bar with fancy cocktails.
(Note: bar with fancy cocktails, not fancy bar with cocktails).

We chanced Hopscotch one Saturday afternoon after wandering around the URA City Gallery (we are so cool) and deciding that our day would only be complete if we had a few drinks. So we Googled "bars near me", and found Hopscotch - a bar that I've always wanted to try, but never got around to. Like the Mad Men television series, my 5 x 5 Rubik's cube, and also all my Urban Decay eyeshadow palettes save Naked 2.

James and I love cocktails. And we finished half the menu on our first trip there. What? The cocktails were delicious and it was Happy Hour! We weren't going to waste our 1-for-1! It took us 2 trips to complete the menu.
And we kept going back because the bar isn't pretentious, the cocktails are good, and the staff are very friendly. And also because they released a new menu and we had to complete that too. So yes, it's our favourite bar!  OH. And they serve you these awesome corn chips. They are amazing.
(Via Hopscotch's FB).

#3 Drinks.

Sometimes we go to weddings and we're like "Where's my alcohol?" So we wanted to make sure that everyone had lots of alcohol to drink, because alcohol is fun and also drunk people have bad judgement and so they wouldn't be able to tell if our party sucked or not.
(Via Giphy).

So Hopscotch was wonderful. They arranged a tasting session for us to craft unique cocktails based on our personalities and preferences. We got to choose the colour and everything! We were very excited.
Jo being very serious and professional while coming up with good custom cocktails during our tasting.
Us taking our tasting very seriously.

We even got to name them! Mine was called "Jac-Pot" - yellow with rum, chocolate bitters, elderflower air, lychee pearl, yuzu and chambord float.
James' was called "Smurfgasm" - blue with gin, tropical blue, citrus, aloe vera, dehydrated orange, sour plum, and pandan sour plum jelly.
We don't really know what each ingredient did for the drink, nor did we recognise everything that went into each drink, but hey! The drinks were delicious. And! According to Ness, very potent. And also according to a very drunk Thad, mine was better 😃.

#4 Cake.

James and I have always been upset that the cakes we often get at Chinese weddings are like, none at all. Until recently, I had assumed that my bride and groom friends were all bad at planning and just you know, underestimated the amount of cake needed to feed all their guests. Then I found out last year that, THE CAKE IS USUALLY FAKE.
(Via Giphy).

TMD. CHEAT MY FEELINGS. Do you know how many times I have waited expectantly for cake only to be served bobochacha or orh nee? (Mango pudding and mango sago pomelo is okay).

So for our wedding party, we decided to serve REAL CAKE.
Top tier - Red velvet with cream cheese filing. 
Bottom tier - Chocolate sponge cake with kinder bueno cream & bits. Decorated with kinder bueno schokobon crispy, gold leaves, gold flakes and gold pearls.

And the cake was great. Apparently. James and I didn't get to try any. But we believe that it was good because lots of people asked us where we got the "best cake ever". The answer is The Cakerie Club, and I found them on Google. Check out their Facebook and Instagram feed! They have lots of cool creations!
(Via The Cakerie Club).

Sian I'm so sad that I didn't get to try any. Next excuse I get I'm totally going to order myself a Kinder Bueno cake.

#5 Decorations.

So we weren't going to have any decorations until Jo told us that we could do up the whole place in any manner we wanted. So um, I found some balloons and decided that they would do nicely. Both of us got a shock when we reached Hopscotch on the day itself. By that time, I had forgotten what I had ordered the week before, and James well, let's just say he wasn't expecting whatever it was that I had ordered. For example, a giant T Rex balloon.
What?! It was an awesome dinosaur. Everyone loved it, especially after drinking a few. 
We also had other more generic decorations, like some champagne bottles and beer mugs.
But you know, nothing beats the T Rex. Not even this obiang double happiness balloon which I personally inflated using the air from my lungs. What?!  We are very traditional people.
Okay and that's in essence what our party was like. We hope everyone had a good time! We're really sorry that we didn't manage to spend enough time with everyone. We thought that having a wedding party would be different from a sit-down dinner in a sense that we would have time to talk to each and every one of our guests. But we were wrong. No okay. All parties are busy affairs. No such thing as being free to socialise with each group of friends properly.
Me socialising with Smith.

STILL. We are very happy made the time to come down despite the rain, Coldplay concert, and potential nap that you could have taken. Also thank you for the wedding gifts and hongbaos. We were a bit paiseh because uh, drinks and cake only. But we really appreciate the gesture, and hope you drank your fill!
Also kudos to Edwina who brought her daughter, and also her other baby that is still inside her. Like seriously this woman is unstoppable. (And thank you for coming out to socialise Zel).
And I would also like to thank my good friends who automatically came up to help me distribute the cake. A+ SCHOLARS ALL OF YOU.
Also many thanks to Ahmad (extreme left) for taking the photos for us. Please guys, if you need someone to take photos for your event. Get Ahmad Iskandar to take your photos. He's very fast in processing and come on la, his photos are amazing.
And, James and I would like to thank the Jo and the team at Hopscotch for hosting us and meeting our very alcoholic demands. It was a great night.
And on a more sombre note, under the Heritage@Maxwell initiative, the Ministry of Law is taking over the Red Dot Traffic building, painting it white, and turning it into a serious non-alcoholic premise. 

TL;DR - Hopscotch is moving out of Red Dot. It's extremely sad. But! They will be holding their closing down party this Saturday and it will be a blast!
There's going to be music, a photo booth, and lots of alcohol so it will surely be fun! More details on their Facebook event page!

Okay anyway, I will now end off with a good song which we should have played at our wedding party.


Have a good rest of the week! Good Friday is coming! Rejoice!
❤ Jac.
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How to be Skinny Fat.

April 20, 2017, 11:42 am
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Hello guys!

So if you have been following my blog, I recently uploaded a picture from my youth, and it was then I understood why I was never one of the cool kids. Seriously man, just look at me. I was lucky to even have friends. I mean, thank goodness for my delightful and charming personality!
So, as I mentioned in my blog post, I used to be quite fat, and somehow I lost a lot of weight. And now I'm like, not fat. But as many of you know, I'm not the healthiest person around. So many people (most recently my sister), have asked me the same question in various forms:
(Via Giphy).

SO NOW! I will divulge secrets to being skinny fat. Also, if you are the healthy self-righteous sort of person, this is not the post for you. If you believe in clean eating, exercising, and like, having a strict diet, please take your food advice somewhere else. Because this is not a fitness based post. It is how to be skinny but unhealthy ok. I am not a dietician or a nutritionist. I only know how to live my unhealthy life and not be overweight.

#1 Choose diet.

And I don't mean go on diet. Although if you are trying to lose weight, I guess a diet does help. But that's not the point of this article.
(Via Cosmopolitan).

We all know that carbonated, sugary drinks are bad for you. Come on, there is no way you can escape reports that these drinks make you put on weight, cause mood swings, are bad for your teeth, or may rot your brain.
(Via Bustle).

But they taste SO GOOD. I love them very much. And so we have lots of carbonated drinks in the house - Coke because I live on it, Tonic to mix with our gin, Red Bull because of caffeine, and Snapple because it says there is real fruit juice in it. And that is enough to make you go into hyperglycemic shock.
(Via Giphy).

But you know what's the trick to drinking all that and not putting on excessive amounts of weight? You choose diet.
Yes, yes, they say that artificial sweeteners make you put on weight in the long run, lowers your metabolic rate, causes "increased waist circumference",  and can cause a plethora of other health problems.
(Created by The Renegade Pharmacist, carried on sites including The Daily Mail, Huffington Post, and the Mirror).

Aiyah whatever. Regular Coke and other soft drinks with regular sugar does the same thing, but with more immediate results. So if you want to be unhealthy but not fat, switch to artificially sweetened drinks over regular drinks.
(Via Giphy).

And yes, I know, water is the best. But some of us don't have the dietary self-control of a panda. We need to drink stuff that consists more than just a colourless, odourless liquid which boils at 100 °C.
(Via Giphy).

Also I want to point out that most recently, HPB has recently endorsed my favourite drink with a Healthier Choice logo! Way to go Coke Light!
Also TIP: If you want to get an alcoholic drink, most bars can serve you a "Vodka Coke Light". And if you go clubbing, a "Vodka Sugar-free Red Bull" is usually available (at Zouk at least).

Also I just realised that I looked like I'm not wearing clothes in my previous selfie. But I totally am okay. I am actually wearing a tank top (see below). It's just that I don't take good selfies, and apparently, neither does my tank top.

#2 Prioritise your food.

Ok, I know that everyone has lots of food that they like to eat. Like char kway teow, laksa, roti prata, burgers, pasta, and so on. But life is sad. You cannot eat all of that and expect to not gain weight unless you have the metabolism of a lucky person or you exercise like a crazy person. But seriously, I much prefer snacking to exercising.
(Via Buzzfeed).

What I have recently discovered, is that I have sub-consciously developed a mental food priority list. What that means is that I have food that I absolutely love and will have no matter what, and the rest I will just not bother going out of my way to get because if I eat the food that I am okay with, I am cutting into the caloric allowance of the food that I love and would have married if not for James.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, here are some items that I will willingly stuff my face with without giving a second thought:
  • French Fries
  • Alcohol (not food but still counts)
  • Chocolate
  • Chips 
  • Pizza
(Via Giphy).

And whatever else that comes my way I don't really care. I mean, I really really love chicken rice, hokkien mee, and raisin bread. But they are not on my food priority list. My love for fries outweighs my love for chicken flavoured rice. So if someone buys them for me great! But if no one buys them for me, then I will just sit in the corner and eat healthier choices. Subway. Salad. Soup. Because my love for fries outweighs my love for chicken rice. So I must sacrifice the chicken rice for the fries. And pizza. I love pizza.
If you love all kinds of food equally then, tough. I think you should volunteer your time at the SPCA or YMCA. Do some volunteering to use up some of your love, and then maybe you will find that you have less love for some food items as compared to the rest.

Also I know that Gardenia raisin bread has a healthier choice logo on it, but if you eat it by the loaf like me, it is truly not considered healthy at all. 
(Via Giphy).

Fuck I feel like eating chicken rice now. At 1 am. Terrible.

#3 Don't be adventurous.

There are some people who like going around Singapore to scout out cool cafes, hipster eateries, and up-and-coming restaurants. Maybe you are one of them. You like to spend your weekends cafe hopping, going from one end of Singapore to the other, trying this new bakery, or queuing this secret bak kut teh joint.
(Via Bloomberg).

Well, don't. You don't know what these places are like! What if you don't like them? Take the MRT all the way to Woodlands on a Saturday morning to try some hidden nasi lemak place that may or may not be nice? What if the nasi lemak is too spicy, too oily, too dry, or not worth the effort? It would be both a waste of time that could be spent sleeping, and calories which could have been dedicated to legit fries.
(Via The Odyssey Online).

Also when you travel great distances just to eat food, you tend to eat more to make the journey worth it, which is not such a good idea.
(Via Tumblr).

My advice is to be lazy and boring and to always go downstairs to eat. That way your food won't disappoint because you've had it a thousand times before, and you won't feel the need to buy more to make the trip worthwhile.

Also, if you want to try a new place which you're not sure whether is good or not, you should sub-contract it to one of your foodie friends, who will be more than happy to try that place on your behalf and give you their take on the food. Then, if they tell you that the place is good, you can make the trip yourself and there is less chance of you being disappointed by your food.
(Via Giphy).

Although be warned, because the place is so far away, they may convince themselves that the food is good so that they won't feel that their trip was for nothing. So my second piece of advice is that you give their review with a healthy 20% worth of scepticism instead of taking it to heart.

#4 Eat what you like.

In a perfect world, I would be able to control the portions of food I eat and like, only eat what I'm supposed to have according to some nutritional pyramid or something. But that's not possible. I am highly attracted to unhealthy stuff.
(Via Giphy).

And I like a wide variety of dishes. But not each dish in its entirety. I like the toppings of pizzas, the egg whites of eggs, the chunks in Ben & Jerry's and also the crusts of toasts...as Edwina discovered when we went to Hong Kong together.
Yeah so I guess what I'm trying to say is, be picky with your food. If you don't like it, don't eat it! Why do you insist on wasting your calories on something that you don't really like. Just eat the stuff that you enjoy, and leave the rest! Unless there are health benefits to eating them, like taking medicine when you're sick, or like eating fruits for antioxidants of course. But like regular food that has no real added value to your well-being? Just leave it. You can do without it.
(Via Giphy).

And don't worry about food wastage. That's what boyfriends, husbands, and travel partners like Edwina are for.

#5 Wear crop tops.

So once upon a time, I used to wear very conservative clothes. You may not remember this, but it's true. I lived in t-shirts and jeans. So you know - like my overseas winter wear, but in Singapore.
Which is all very well and good. But you know, you can't really see if you are fat or not. Everything is hidden. So you forget about all the fat deposits hidden beneath your clothes and eat whatever you want, in whatever amounts you want.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, I now wear crop tops and shorts almost everywhere I go, and what I've realised is, I unconsciously eat less because I don't want to walk around with a belly of food hanging out. Besides, crop tops are a good way to like air your midriff and not end up with sweaty underboobs, what with the disgustingly hot weather today.

They are also very versatile and you can wear them practically anywhere - brunch, bathroom fixture showrooms, supermarkets, your own wedding party... anywhere!
(Taken by Ahmad Iskandar).

Just you know, maybe not to church, mosques, or temples. But that's okay because people don't usually go to these places for the specific purpose to eat. Unless you're attending a wedding. Then different story.
Anyhow! I've reached the end of my tips on how you can possibly eat lots of unhealthy stuff but not be overweight. OF COURSE, there is a healthier way to do it. But if you can't be bothered, then this is how I do it. OF COURSE, I know that it may be bad for me in the long run, but my annual check-ups say that I am fine. Also if you want to dispense medical advice then please preach to someone who cares. Not someone who downs Coke Light like recruits at a water parade.

Okay and here's a great song with Flo Rida and 99 percent featuring one of my non-priority food items, but will eat if it is placed in front of me, CAKE.


TGIF GUYS! HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND! James and I will be flying to Greece for our wedding (the one with the ring exchange and dress) so WISH US LUCK!

Cheers!
❤ Jac.

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Sorry, I'm busy...GETTING MARRIED!

May 4, 2017, 2:21 pm
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Hey guys!

Sorry for the lack of updates but I have been very busy rescuing a tortoise from getting run over a car in Greece.
Also running around in the Panathenaic Stadium aka the birthplace of the modern Olympics.
And also getting drone videos taken of myself in Meteora.
And also of course, working it at the carwash.
Oh. Also in the midst of doing all these things, James and I somehow managed to find the time to get married.
And it was amazing. And I will blog about it more soon, but James and I are currently driving around Greece. So far, we have been to Athens, Santorini, Delphi, Thermopylae, Meteora, Ioninas, Arta, Patras, Olympia, and here we are now.



Yes, correct. THIS IS SPARTA. And more pictures another time because it's like 12 am now and tomorrow we are going to drive on the Langada Pass which runs over the chasm where Spartans tossed unfit babies and criminals to die.
(Via Giphy).

Okay! And now I'll leave you with a song that will make you think of Greece.


Well, close enough. Have a good weekend! (Sadly we'll be flying back).

Cheers,
❤ Jac.
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#adulting: How to organise a wedding.

May 12, 2017, 2:01 pm
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Hey guys!

So I don't know if you've heard, but..I'M MARRIED! Yes! Finally! After all those years of thinking that I will die alone with not even cats to eat my remains, I've finally tied the knot with this guy who is now known as my husband!
Check it out! I have a dress that is longer than my knees! And a guy who is willing to spend the rest of his life with me! And now you're all like, "Wah if Jac can get married, so can I." Which is true! And let me guide you through the process in it's entirety so that you too can have a fantastic wedding.

#1 Find a groom.

So this is the first step of the marriage process. You have to find someone to marry you. Some people find their grooms while they are schooling, some find them in the workplace, and some find them in church.
Me? I found my groom on Tinder.
Photo by @smithankyou.

Yeah I know I swore off dating apps a long time ago after my disastrous blind date incident, but you know, circumstances change. One day you are dead set against dating apps, and another day you are hiding in the bathtub because you can't bring yourself to eat another bite of CNY food and your sister won't let you take a nap. And all you see on FB and Instagram are pictures of food so you download Tinder and start swiping. 
And that was how I met your father (I will say to no one because I have no kids and if I ever have kids I will pretend to be wholesome and say that we met in a library and I couldn't reach the book on the top shelf).

So okay. Now you know how to find a groom. Go online and start looking. If you don't like the idea of downloading dating apps on your phone, you can look into more traditional methods of finding a groom. I've done some research for you and you can now find matchmakers and mail-order (or email-order, rather) brides and grooms online!
(Via Irish Central and Channel NewsAsia).

#2 Find a solemniser.

So if you want to be married (in Singapore) you need someone to be there to sign your marriage certificate. If you're the religious type you probably can get your religious leader to do it (eg pastor at your church). If not you can go onto the ROM website to look for someone to solemnise your marriage.
Behold the ROM website, which (if created in the early 2000's) must have been a great and modern portal of its time.

We wanted to get all the paperwork done at a room at the Registry of Marriages (it can be done in 20 minutes there, and FOC!). But sadly, being the last minute people we are, all the rooms at ROM were booked up. So we had to find someone who would come to an external venue to sign our certificate. Which is technically also FOC, but you feel bad not giving an angpow after the guy comes all the way down to your place just to sign a document. Typically, people book locations like restaurants or hotel ballrooms for their ROMs. James and I did it downstairs. #budget.
Photo by @smithankyou.

Like literally down the stairs from the place that we were renting. If you see here, I am trying (and failing) to open the balcony door of our old place.
Photo by @smithankyou.

So anyway, yes! Solemiser! Find one online and email him or her with your date. And your solemnizer will email you some forms to fill in, and you complete them and send them back! Easy peasy lemon squeezy!
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, that's basically how you get married. However, if you want to have a ceremony and the whole shebang, then here is more information on what you have to do...

#3 Decide on the type of wedding.

So James and I are not that big on the whole wedding dinner thing, where, unless you are good friends with the people you are sitting with,  or unless the bride and groom have some fun entertainment items lined up, there is nothing much to look forward to. There are awkward powerpoint presentations, weird speeches from everyone in the world, waiters with a procession of dishes marching in to cheesy elevator music - you know the drill.
(Via The Borneo Post).

So that was something that we truly did not want. We decided on the key items that our wedding needed to have, and started from there. Also, just in case you were wondering, the key items we identified were:
  1. Alcohol
  2. Real cake
  3. No strangers (aka people we did not know on a first name basis)
And you know, since we were legally married already, this would be a symbolic wedding. I found a Greek celebrant to conduct the ceremony for us! He conducted the ceremony in both Greek and English, and included a literal tying of the knot session (by his assistant).
I booked him online. And you can too at Santorini Weddings!

#4 Select your wedding location.

So, James is British and I'm Singaporean. But we decided not to hold our wedding in either Singapore or the UK because we didn't want the majority of guests to be either from his side or my side. So we decided to go somewhere halfway.
We were watching TV, hence the blue glow on our faces. We were not being abducted by aliens.

Which is Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran - basically the Middle East. Not places that you might consider as wedding destinations. After throwing out a few countries (including Egypt and Turkey), we decided on Greece. Because #mybigfatgreekwedding.
(Via Popsugar).

And also why not? Neither of us had been to mainland Greece before, and Athens sounded awesome! So Greece it was! Also, please note that this entire conversation took place in an elevator journey from the ground floor to the 40th floor. So you know, about a minute. We are quite efficient like that.

Anyway! We I did some research online to look for places to get married in Greece, and discovered Santorini! And it looked AMAZING.
(Via Lonely Planet).

After that I emailed goodness knows how many hotels to get possible dates and quotes, read countless reviews online, and we settled on Dana Villas. I say "settled". But really, there was nothing to settle for. The reviews were great and the photos were in a league of their own.
(Via Santorini Weddings).

And yes! That's how we chose our locations, through Google images, TripAdvisor, and Gmail.

#5 Send wedding invites.

So we figured quite early on in the process, that if you want to have a wedding celebration, you're going to need guests. Initially, I thought I could just get away with WhatsApping people to invite them to our wedding. But apparently, British tradition dictates that you must send physical invites to people. But unless you have a wedding package with some hotel in Singapore, wedding invites are SO EXPENSIVE IN SINGAPORE. And so generic. And not us.
(Via Singapore Brides).

Like seriously I did not know buying cards was more expensive than buying pizza. So I went online and sourced for other options, which was where I found Rodo Creative, a duo that does bespoke wedding invites in the UK. And this is what they created for us!
It was like, perfect for us. We thought that the plane ticket coupled with the map was a really fun idea! Also suitable for our wedding. And also cheaper than most of the products in Singapore. It was kind of a no brainer. There was even a reminder to forgetful people to bring their passports along! (James forgot his passport when we went to Bintan for Darren's wedding).
Anyway, the invites were delivered really promptly, and were true to the design. We were very impressed, and so were all our guests #successkid.

#6 Say yes to the dress.

As you probably can tell from the photos, I got a wedding gown! And if me owning a dress which covers both my knees and ankles isn't impressive enough, let me proceed to wow you even more:
  • I bought it in 30 minutes
  • It was cheap
  • It is new
  • It's designed by Vera Wang.
YA. Thank you. And I mean Vera Wang the famous wedding gown designer, not like some other person who shares the same name.  But, more of that in another post. Basically, do your research online and everything will be just fine.

#7 Hire a photographer.

So you have great photos on Instagram and you have invited loads of trigger-happy friends to your wedding. And you decide, "Well, maybe I don't need to hire a photographer, I can just depend on my friends."
(Via Giphy).

Don't be ridiculous. Unless you are paying your friend to be there, I would suggest that you hire someone else to take your photos. I mean, you hope that everyone will enjoy your wedding right? Why give someone the stress of being your photographer?
(Via Giphy).

Also if you don't like the photos, what are you going to do? Scold your friends? That's a bit shit don't you think? Anyway, I emailed tonnes of photographers based in Santorini, and decided on Eva Rendl. And so that's why James and I have romantic photos like this.
You think James and I can take photos like this in front of people we know? No way man. We needed a professional to instruct us on how to look romantic in photos. Otherwise, our photos would end up looking like this.
You get the idea.

#8 Find a florist.

You think that you don't need flowers for your wedding, but you really do. Like initially, James and I couldn't have cared any less about having flowers for our wedding. But later we realised that so many people are coming all the way from goodness knows where for our wedding. So we better put some effort into tarting up the place.
It's a good thing we did! We thought we overpaid a bit, but the rest of the stuff was relatively cheap. So you know, balances out. Also we found our florist online - Fabio Zardi. A bit on the expensive side, but we were quite impressed by what he did. (And it takes a lot of James to get excited about flowers).
Also they have this online project management system where you can keep track of outstanding tasks. This made me extremely happy.

#9 Cake.

This was very important to us, as it was one of the criteria for our wedding! So anyway, I sourced for a cake online, and our cake turned out very well.
Isn't it cute?! Half is a wedding gown and the other half is a suit! (We're trying to beg people to send us more photos of the cake because we had dismissed our photographer by then). It's from Lixoudis Bakery, and the cake was really very good! We even ordered an additional cake to celebrate James' dad's birthday! It was delicious.
Oh and the Lego people? Ordered them online. A combination of parts from Brick Generals and Minifigs.me. We had wanted to put them on our wedding party cake, but...we forgot. Luckily, we had another wedding cake to look forward to!

#10 Pick wedding favours.

We were not going to get any wedding favours at first, but a week before the wedding, we came across the most awesome products online ever.
(Via the little dröm store).

And James came up with the brilliant idea of turning these into our wedding favours for our guests, half of whom were angmoh! They were a great hit, although I have no photos of our guests wearing the pins, because our photographer had been dismissed. But it's okay because all our steady pom pipi friends said that they will be sending us photos.
We also saw that the little dröm store sold Strangely Singaporean postcards, which we thought would work very well as table names instead of having generic numbers! We thought it worked quite well. For instance, this is the table which housed most of James' relatives.
It was lots of fun going around to the different tables and explaining the various pins to everyone. We got a different pin for each guest, so everyone had a good time comparing their pins with each other. (Or they told us that they did. They may be lying). Anyway! We ordered the pins and the badges from the little dröm store via email, and THEY WERE SO NICE TO ME. LOOK WHAT THEY SENT ME.
An extra set of postcards and a note saying that they think I am chio! Thanks Stanley and Antoinette :)

And that's mostly what we I did to organise the wedding! In essence, everything can be done online. Right from the start where you find your groom, to right to the end where you post all your photos and blog about it online. And everything went really well too! We had a great time, and it was genuinely fun. Like, you know how some people say that they are so glad that their wedding is finally over? James and I enjoyed every bit of our wedding! (Even the part when I forgot my vows).
In conclusion, I would like to advise anyone who is planning a destination wedding against spending thousands of dollars to hire a professional wedding planner. Please spend the thousands on hiring me instead. I have OCD and great attention to detail. I only have one wedding in my portfolio so far, but if you are willing to pay me thousands of dollars, I am happy to expand my portfolio to include more.

Anyway, James and I would like to thank everyone who took time off to come to our wedding. We genuinely like you and that's why you were invited. We're still working on sending out thank you cards and stuff, but if you have any photos of the wedding please do share them! We are working on something (we think).

Also, thank you everyone else for all their well wishes. We couldn't invite everyone (we had a cap of 24 guests, which we pushed to 30), but thank you for your WhatsApps and FB messages. James and I are quite surprised by how many people want to talk to us and see photos of us pretending to be romantic.

Also it's the weekend guys! Have a good one! (And meanwhile I'm going to China for work. Gah). And now, let me leave you with the song I walked down the pretend aisle to.



Cheers,
❤ Jac.
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James' Jibber-Jabber: Logic.

May 19, 2017, 12:37 pm
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Hello guys!

So I'm currently on a work trip in China and it's...well the hotel is nice. I haven't really seen anything apart from the hotel because of work, but what I have seen (including the hotel) is cosmopolitan and good.
Anyhow! This work trip has given me an epiphany on a thing or two, one of which can be translated into the latest version of....
So we were at the supermarket the other day and I saw this humongous can of beer. and I bought it. I was very proud of myself. I mean like LOOK AT IT. HAVE YOU SEEN A BIGGER CAN OF BEER OR ANYTHING AT ALL??!!!
No you have not. Not unless you the can is a garbage can. Anyway, I bought this exciting one litre can of beer and was so proud of myself.

But you know, my colleagues were not so understanding of my pride. And so, the conversations which followed went something along these lines:
Colleague, "That's a lot of beer."
Me, "IKR!!! IT'S LIKE A ONE LITRE CAN!"
Colleague, "Do you like beer?"
Me, "Not particularly. I drink it and it's ok."
Colleague, "But you bought a lot of beer."
Me, "Nono, I bought only one can, and only because it's a one litre can."
Colleague, "Why didn't you buy a smaller can?"
Me, "Because I have never seen a one litre can before, and I have seen many 330 ml cans in my life."
Colleague, "But that's still a lot of beer."
Me, "You bought more beer. You bought a six pack."
Colleague, "You could have shared my beer!"
Me, " NO I WANT A ONE LITRE CAN OF BEER!"
Anyway, I didn't think much of it until I was proudly showing off my beer purchase to James over WhatsApp video that night.
Me, "LOOK AT MY BEEEERRRRRR."
James, "HAHA. You just bought it because it's a big can."
Me, "LOOK AT ITTTTTTTT."
James, "Very nice, well done."
And that's how it's done. This is why I married James of course. He doesn't ask me stupid questions like, "Why did you buy a big can of beer?" Because it's big la! Then?
(Via Giphy).

I also bought another alcoholic drink in a can. But only because it's called "tok tok".
But my colleagues didn't that either and asked me what is in the drink, whether it is nice, what country it's from, and whether I've had it before. Seriously! Why can't I buy a drink because I like the way it looks?
(Via Wikia).

Also how I chose my husband of course.
The end.

Can't wait to be back in Singapore!
❤ Jac
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#adulting: Said yes to the dress!

May 25, 2017, 9:23 am
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Hello guys!

So, as you might know, James and I got married a few weeks ago!
It was awesome, we had a great time (and we think our guests did too)! Anyway, this was my dress.
As in, what I'm wearing. The person next to me is my husband, not my dress. And I know many people who are getting married this year (4 people in my department alone!) and from what I've heard, dress shopping is a pain.
(Via Cosmopolitan).

I was told, that the dress shopping process is terrible. It is tedious, long-drawn, and expensive. There's the flitting from boutique to boutique, the trying on of multiple dresses and not being sure of the one you like, and getting harassed by so many sales people that you'd think you were at an insurance agent convention. And at the end of the day (or many days), you eventually find a dress you sort of like, and you get it altered to fit you. But you're not sure. But it's the best you've tried on so far. So you pay for it, wear it for your wedding, AND THEN GIVE IT BACK. Seriously - all the time and effort you put in and you don't even get to keep the dress. 
(Via Giphy).

Why would anyone even want to wear a dress on their wedding day when you have to go through all this trouble is beyond me. Which is why this isn't what I did at all. So today, Jac will impart some wisdom on how she got her not too expensive wedding gown in under 30 minutes.

#1 Do your research.

Before I got engaged, I had no clue about weddings, gowns, rings, and what have you. James had a difficult time proposing. "You never dropped hints on what ring you wanted". Obviously not. With my derailed thoughts and unstable personality, I thought I was destined to be a spinster for life.
(Via Giphy).

So after I got my ring (my second one, I ate the first), I started doing research on gowns. And bloody hell. There are SO MANY GOWNS. And everything I saw locally was either so very expensive, or so very ugly. Sorry, not going fork out thousands just for a dress that I can only wear for a few hours.
(Via Buzzfeed).

So I started looking overseas! And I found that this American boutique called "David's Bridal" which carried a wide range of dresses, both obiang and not obiang. The boutique also exclusively carried the line, "White by Vera Wang". And I do not know much about wedding gowns. But even I, have heard of Vera Wang. 
"I am proud to bring my designs to more women everywhere through the White by Vera Wang collection." 
- Vera Wang.
So it's an exclusive collection that Vera Wang has produced in collaboration with David's Bridal. Read: Vera Wang for poor people like myself. Anyway, the dresses, considering the prices in Singapore, were SO VERY CHEAP. No really. Just go in and look at the prices. I have sneakers which cost more than some of the gowns. Look at this White by Vera Wang gown. $249.99! Significantly less than the trade-in value of my phone!!!
(Via David's Bridal).

#2 Try it on.

But, I thought it would be a bit risky to buy a dress without trying it on beforehand. I mean, what size should I buy? This is not Forever 21. I don't know my size for these gown things. And also, how can I be sure of the quality if I don't like accidentally break the zipper in the changing room before hand? And I know many people say "Oh Taobao is so cheap! Just Taobao and alter."WELL. Have you seen the dresses that have been coming from online China?
(Via Bored Panda).

No way in hell that can be altered. But, because I have an obsessive personality, I started looking for David's Bridal boutiques overseas, and I found one in London! Which was great! One of the good things about marrying a British guy — you're bound to go to London sometime during the year.
Us in London in September last year.

So I decided to try the dress on in London, before committing to anything. 

#3 Be decisive.

Anyway, James and I went gown shopping at David's Bridal's Westfield outlet in London. I thought I would take about an hour to select a dress, if at all. James was not so confident. He was mortified by the number of dresses in the store. He thought we would be staying there till closing.
This is my husband.

NOTE: Okay I know that some people like to try on every single dress that they see before the come to a decision on their dress. However, this blog post is on buying a dress in 30 minutes. If you want to do that, you do not have time to put yourself into every dress in the store. Really. 

Anyway, the saleswoman was very friendly and helpful. She tried her very best to determine what kind of style I liked.
Saleswoman, "What kind of dress are you looking for?"
Me, "I'm not sure. A white one."
Saleswoman, "Are there any design features that you would like on your dress?"
Me, "No not particularly, I'm not sure."
Saleswoman, "It's okay honey, we'll do this together."
And then the saleswoman started showing me lots and lots of dresses. 
(Via Brides).
Saleswoman, "This one is very pretty... there's very nice lace detail."
Me, "Oh, I'm not really into things with sleeves."
Saleswoman, "Okay great! Strapless then! How about this one?"
Me, "I don't really fancy the poofy skirt."
Saleswoman, "Okay more streamlined then. How about this one?"
Me, "I don't think the bling is really me."
And so on. No sleeves, no multiple cupcake layers, no bling, no long train, no pearls, no gauze, no overlay.....you don't know how many polite ways I had to come up with to replace my default reply of, "I don't like this".
Saleswoman, "This one is really simple! How about it?"
Me, "I don't really get the ribbon."
Saleswoman, "WOW. You want it REALLY simple."
In the end, there was only 3 choices for me to choose from. Well, I chose 1, but the nice saleswoman persuaded me to try on another gown which came with a belt thing, and this other one with the strappy bits and ribbon. But only because she said I could remove the ribbon and hide the strappy bits.
(Via David's Bridal, as in the one on the left. The one on the right is me with 20 million clips down my back to prevent the dress from falling off.)

But, it didn't feel right. I preferred the first dress I tried on. So in summary, I bought the first dress I tried! Which is you know, this one.
Not bad for a 30 minute purchase if I do say so myself.

#4 Buy overseas.

So, how much did my gown cost? Slightly less than £400. And that's before you claim VAT. Sadly, I wasn't able to do that because they didn't have my size in stock (because I chose something that was off-season and on sale) and so we had to get my dress shipped in from the States. But still, not bad la hor?
Yes, my Vera Wang gown which cost less than £400. Singapore is very expensive when it comes to weddings, gowns, and what have you. Go overseas to get everything. It's waaaaay cheaper.

ALSO. I was quite lucky as I didn't have to alter my gown. That saved us around $300! I haven't heard of anyone who didn't have to have their gowns altered, so I was really pleased that it fit so perfectly. Because now I can say Bride Wars things like...
(Via Giphy).

#5 Don't look back.

I know people who have bought multiple dresses online (my sister included), had multiple alterations done to their dresses, spent a fortune on a dress which they have to return after 3 hours, or all of the above. But, my advice is, once you get the dress. Just, you know, move on to planning the next part of your wedding. In the end, it's just a dress, and you'll probably be prettier than everyone else there anyway. Unless you decide to pull a bridezilla, that is.
(Via Giphy).

And yes, that's basically the story of how I got my wedding gown - with lots of patience for online research and with very little patience for dress embellishments. Hopefully, your dress shopping escapades (if you intend to have one) will be as unadventurous as mine (if you are the sort who likes hassle free shopping).

Okay and to end off, here's one of the many good songs that we played at our wedding.


TGIF! Have a good weekend guys!
❤ Jac.
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